A/N: this is a ridiculous story... i have trouble enjoying my writing... but i mean... if it's good that's cool too
Phil and I walked hand in hand down the bustling sidewalks of New York City, and now we were at a diner along 6th Avenue, seated at an uncomfortable booth. The NYC charm made it all better, though.
"Y'know, the craziest thing is," I told Phil, stirring creamer into my coffee, "is that I really can't stand interacting with people, but you're an acception." Phil had his black, with one packet of sugar. He put it down after taking a sip. "It's healthy to expand your horizons and meet new people, though I can see what you're getting at. I'm glad I was cool enough to be spoken to by such a handsome man," Phil responded. He didn't miss a beat, but my heart definitely skipped one.
Phil and I conversed over mugs of coffee and pancakes - "The pancakes here are fanatical, aren't they?!" Phil had cried when the waitress brought us our food. He had ordered chocolate chip ones, which I thought was funny. - and we learned a lot more about each other than I had expected. For example, I learned that he was a volunteer firefighter in the evenings, and in the mornings, worked at a music store on the east side. "This one kid I give lessons to is wicked scary, he'll throw a fit if he doesn't figure it out and threatens to call his mother if he doesn't get his way," Phil said, laughing. I laughed along with him.
Finally, after he had paid the check (and me arguing with him about it), Phil stirred his coffee, looking like he had something to say. "Hey, Dan...?" he asked slowly. I looked up from my phone. "Yes Phil?" "Do you... do you mind me asking... well I'm not in the position to ask, but... do you mind me asking a more personal question?" Phil asked again. I shook my head: "Not at all, shoot."
"Why... why were you in Dr. Crane's office?"
I took a deep breath before replying simply "I have therapy sessions with him... for things that happened long ago... ex-boyfriends, abuse, misuse, overdose... crazy shit that's not worth your time..."
Phil nodded respectfully, and stretched his hand across the table to place on mine. "I'm glad you're getting help," he said, "and if I can be of any help to you as well, it would make me very happy."
I beamed, and took Phil's hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. "Thank you."
* * *
I told Phil I had three hours off (which Phil pointed out we had spent an hour at the diner, so more like two hours left now), courtesy of Chelsea and her notice of how Phil was probably asking me out on a date. Why was I ignoring that? Because I had been let down in spontaneous relationships before. I didn't want that to happen with Phil. Phil was different. Phil was special. Obviously the good kind of special. I mean, about two hours ago he had just gotten a lion tattoo... amazing!
But Phil had insisted making the most of the time we had left together, and had taken me to the Museum of Modern Art. "I've always loved the gorgeous pieces of art. Oh look, Keith Haring!" Phil exclaimed, walking quickly over to some Haring pieces of art. "Haring has always been my favourite," Phil said softly, gazing at the painting. "Really? Why?" I asked inquisitively. "Because he was gay, and in his paintings, wanted to show everyone how homosexual love isn't much different than heterosexual love."
He basically spoke on behalf of the entirety of the LGBTQ+ group. I mean, it was quite small back then... but it still speaks on so many different levels. I bet that, if he was alive today, he'd be so happy about how every state in America made love equal," Phil finished, before turning to me blushing. "Sorry to get all political and stuff."
I shrugged, and took his hand as we walked around to the other pieces of art. "Hey, I don't mind. That's honestly the first time I've heard something good in a while," I replied. Phil gave my hand a squeeze and we continued to walk around the museum. Finally I heard my phone buzz. It was Ramona.
I opened my phone to see what she had said. "Having a nice date with Phil? lol"
I replied back to her: "It's been incredible, but I checked the time and I'll need to get back to the parlor in about fifteen minutes. We've spent all morning together! I'll tell you all about it when I get back."
I looked up to Phil, who was in the midst of studying a painting. "Hey Phil," I said quietly, hoping not to disturb him. Phil looked over at me. "Yeah?"
"I'll have to be back at the parlor in about fifteen minutes," I said sadly. Phil frowned, but followed it with a sad smile. "Let's go then, to catch a cab. It'll take us forever to walk all the way back downtown," he said, guiding me to the exit.
Phil stuck out his hand for a cab and opened the door for me. He was about to shut it when I stopped him. "Phil, wait!" I cried.
Phil opened the door again. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I frowned. "Aren't you coming back to the parlor?" "No, my work is down a few blocks... I can't come back with you, I'm sorry. But here," he said, and helped me back out of the taxi. "Here's my phone number... I would be honoured to go out with you again, I really enjoyed myself," Phil said. I nodded. "Thank you for your phone number, I'll be sure to call you again. The feeling is mutual, I haven't had this much fun in a while..." I answered. Phil leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek, and I hugged him back. "Thank you," I whispered to him. Phil hugged tighter.
Then the cab honked. "Hey man, I love it, but I don't think you guys want the meter to keep going... this shit's expensive as fuck," the cabbie said. Phil and I laughed. "I'll see you again," I told Phil, stepping into the cab again.
I went home from the parlor still confused as to what I even did today. Random, crazy choice, to go out for breakfast with someone I had met the day before. Is this how people fall in love? I hadn't felt myself fall this hard in years...
I paced around my room all night, trying to talk myself out of the feelings I had suddenly felt for Phil, and told myself he didn't feel any of it either. 'No, he doesn't love me,' I told myself. 'No, no, no!'
This can't happen... I wanted it to, but I couldn't let it. Not again.
At around five A.M., lying on my back in the middle of the room, I finally came to the conclusion that we were in love with each other, and I finally accepted it. I had let love back in again.
After years of ignoring people... pushing people away... breaking off relationships the next day... Phil was different, and I didn't want to ignore him or push him away...
It happened again. I finally let it.
I phoned Phil.
One ring... two rings... three rings...
"Hello?"
"Hey Phil, it's me."
