A/N: hey guys! sorry about leaving you for literal ages. school and stuff, there's honestly no other way to excuse my absence.
I have a new story for you! kinda similar to what's happening irl whoops
HighSchool!Phan, tw: self hatred, nothing too intense lol this is supposed to be slightly angsty fluff chill fam
* * *
"Yeah, about that... why do you and everyone else make you out to be an asshole? I just don't see it," I said back.
Phil stopped for a moment. Everyone had always gone along with this almost-joking sort of thing that Phil Lester was a really big asshole. Everyone said so.
"Because I just am. Because I fuck things up and I can't find a steady relationship and I'm mean to people and I just am..." he said, letting out a breath he didn't know was holding.
* * *
Let's face it: I am definitely not the most popular kid in marching band. Or school. Or ever. I'm just not popular.
I'm always an outcast. Even on a team or something like band, I was still in the background, marching from dot to dot. I'm also not really that exciting or special... I'm just me.
Which is why I was so shocked to, somehow, find myself mid-conversation with one of the most popular seniors in marching band, in school, in every aspect.
To: PHIL, 11:28 AM
my favorite album is "Origin of Symmetry", omg if i couldnt listen to anything but that i think i'd be happy
From: PHIL, 11:29 AM
that album is so old
To: PHIL, 11:29 AM
got a problem with that? :P
From: PHIL, 11:31 AM
no, just surprised.. and impressed :)
anyways... what're you up to today? doing anything interesting?
To: PHIL, 11:32 AM
was gonna see if my friend wanted to go to Frosty's with me today, but i'll prolly just be home doing homework ://
From: PHIL, 11:32 AM
i was your friend wasnt i
To: PHIL, 11:33 AM
a different friend but if you weren't going to be up in the city today you could totally hit me up on that offer lol
What had I done?
I had just flirted with the most dangerous boy in school. The loudmouth. The supposed asshole.
Was I too blind to see that? Probably.
But there was just something so fucking attractive about the way he'd wink at me from in the low brass section in the back of the bleachers when we were supposed to be watching the game and he'd think no one could see but we were on display.
We did it constantly. Joking choke holds. Friendly high-fives. Platonic hugging and hair touching and hand holding.
I had gotten myself into some severe quicksand but was in no hurry to get out of it. Sometimes it's nice to take some time to watch yourself sink.
Except the texts got worse and worse.
From: PHIL, 3:38 PM
you still up for going to Frosty's? i'll be home in about an hour and a half.
To: PHIL, 3:40 PM
yeah sure thing.. meet up at mine at 4, we can walk up together.
From: PHIL, 3:40 PM
can't wait ;)
Yes. The goddamn winky text.
I sighed and got up from my spot on the couch, going upstairs to try and get ready. Of course, we weren't going to go out for ice cream for a while, but I was too nervous to think about that.
I went upstairs, trying to find a good outfit. I didn't want to wear something so absurdly fancy, but I didn't want to look like a slob either. I settled on khakis and a sweatshirt with my high school's letter on it.
I was brushing my teeth when I heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it!" I gurgled, spitting out the toothpaste and racing to the door. I just wanted to answer the door before my parents saw and made it out to be a giant deal.
This wasn't a date, this was two friends going out for some ice cream...
Phil was standing there, a smirk plastered on his face. His usually straight fringe was curling a little at the tips, and it looked so nice. His cheeks were rosy and his hands were stuffed in the pockets of his varsity jacket. "Hey... nice toothpaste."
I wiped my mouth...
Fuck.
*
We were a couple streets away now from the ice cream parlor, and Phil was in the middle of talking to me about the college he had been looking at. "Yeah, they have a great sports program, but I'm really concerned about the music... the whole time I was thinking, 'Will I be able to continue learning trumpet?' And- hey, you okay?"
Phil flicked my head. I looked up; god why was he so tall?
"No I was just... I was just thinking about how everyone always teases me about hanging out with you... they always say you're a jerk."
Phil scoffed. "A jerk is an understatement. Trust me, I'm the biggest asshole you'll ever meet."
"Yeah, about that... why do you and everyone else make you out to be an asshole? I just don't see it," I said back.
Phil stopped walking for a moment and paused. Everyone had always gone along with this almost-joking sort of thing that Phil Lester was a really big asshole. Everyone said so.
"Because I just am. Because I fuck things up and I can't find a steady relationship and I'm mean to people and I just am..." he said, letting out a breath he didn't know was holding.
I turned and wrapped my arms around him. "No, don't say that, please! You're not an asshole, I promise you. You're just doing what every other teenager does. You'll still have me, though, always... you haven't fucked this up, and you won't. I... You're a great person, Phil."
Phil slowly put his arms around me, pulling me to him. Although I could sense he liked the hug, he still had a sad feeling; "Yeah, sure, whatever you say..."
We pulled away to continue walking, but the whole time, I tried to get him to laugh and remind him that he was more than what other people thought of him.
*
From: PHIL, 8:39 PM
thanks for hanging out with me today, i had a nice time
To: PHIL, 8:39 PM
thanks for keeping me company, i couldn't think of any better way to spend my afternoon. also, this might sound weird, but you give good hugs.
From: PHIL, 8:40 PM
yeah, i've been told i give good hugs. :P
To: PHIL, 8:41 PM
really? well, it's true.
From: PHIL, 8:42 PM
thanks.. see you tomorrow :)
To: PHIL, 8:43 PM
yeah, see you
And that was when I first knew that I really liked Phil Lester. Maybe for the hugs, but also for his company.
