When Dan got in the car, he could instantly smell the alcohol on Thános' breath. Of fucking course he was drunk. Thános leaned in to kiss Dan, but Dan reeled back. "Easy T, don't you wanna get to the party?" "What party?" Tháo said groggily. His words were all slurred. Dan felt ice pierce his tummy, he thought he was going to be sick. "You really think there was some silly party? Danny, we're not 5 anymore. I just wanted you here, with me..." Thános' hands crept up to the zipper on Dan's jeans. Hands, fingers, long like a bassist's. Dan pushed them away. He couldn't handle it, he thought his mind was going to explode.
"Thános stop," Dan said, forcefully. Thános wouldn't budge, so Dan did the only thing he thought he could: he got out. Immediately, T started screaming. "Where the fuck do you think you're going, you little whore!" he shouted. Dan was petrified. He started running. He ran through his neighbours' yards to get back to his house, and climb through the window, and go the fuck to sleep. He just had to go to sleep, he could wake up the next morning and figure out what to do.
And that's just what he did. Dan woke up the next morning and looked outside and saw Thános' leather jacket impaled on a spoke of the fence. A bad omen.
He lied to himself. He knew he wasn't going to deal with it at all. Dan shut the blinds and went back to bed in his clothes.
* * *
The following evening, Phil called Dan.
"Hey, love," Phil's tired yet charming voice crackled through the phone. Dan smiled: "Hi."
"How have you been? We haven't spoken since Friday at school." It was now Sunday.
"Oh I've been fine, nothing out of the ordinary, just playing video games as usual." A blatant lie. Dan was actually stressing out so much about Thanos, he had no idea what he was going to do.
"At least you're playing video games; Mum took us up North to visit family and I've basically been babysitting my little cousins, and I'm not even getting paid! My aunts and uncles know full and well I hate kids anyways!" Dan laughed genuinely. "You should really crack down on your Aunt Lucy, then! Get her to pay you at least." Phil laughed.
Silence, once more. Dan sighed. Phil, in his curious nature, asked, "What's wrong? You've sounded quite upset. Something the matter?"
Dan shook his head to no one. "No, no, nothing's the matter. I just... I'm just dealing with some things."
"Like what? Anything I can help with?" Phil said comfortingly.
"I just.. I don't think I'm cut out for a relationship anymore," Dan said. His voice was quivering and his hands were shaking; he thought he was going to cry.
"What?" Phil asked. "What are you saying, Dan?"
"I just... I don't know if I can handle a relationship... I'm sorry, Phil, I just..." What was he saying?! Dan's mouth was running off without him.
Phil sighed. "So, is this a breakup? Are we breaking up?"
Yep, there were the tears; Dan began to cry. His body was trembling and he couldn't stop feeling sad. "I... I guess we are..." he whispered softly into the phone.
He pictured in his mind Phil on the other side of the phone shaking his head. Dan felt pathetic.
"I have to go, Mum wants me. Bye Dan," Phil said. Then he hung up.
Dan held his phone to his chest, taking in what just happened.
He kept letting himself get hurt. He was using others to protect himself. Why was this happening?!
At least now Dan didn't have to feel bad hanging out with Thanos... not like he wanted to do that right away. What he really needed right now was some ice cream. Fortunately, Dan's mum had some in the freezer.
He went to bed crying, his phone tucked under his pillow, hoping something would persuade Phil to text him back.
He didn't.
