I Know Places (Taylor Swift Imagines) (GxG)

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in case anyone was wondering what being me is like.

Your parents were a complicated bunch. Lenient, but invasive. Supportive, but with conditions. They had gay friends—your mom's very own best friend was part of the LGBTQ community. And yet.

Your dad swore at Netflix for displaying LGBT content. Your father cursed the LGBT and feminist community for attempting to spread their messages online. Your mom just agreed. Both of them think that the LGBT community and feminism are corrupting the minds of children. Your father has said that Donald Trump is a smart businessman.

But they're supportive. They've always said they'd try to understand you. That they'd break the cycle their ancestors set.

So when you met Taylor, when your heart began to flutter when you thought of her, when your smile began to soften when you saw her, you told them, thinking, hoping, that they'd understand.

Instead, you got your phone taken away. Parental controls on your laptop that gave them reports of your activity on it. Your father going through your phone when you thought he was just going to look something up. Your mother looking through your contacts when the password to your second phone changed. Both of them demanding the passwords to all of your social media accounts. Tell you you won't be getting the new iPhone you're supposed to get from a relative.

"Explore. But not now."

"You're too young to know who you are."

"This is social media's fault. Your generation has poisoned your mind."

So, "Fine," you say to Taylor one evening as you two sit at the dock. "They can believe what they want. But I'm going to do what I can to keep you."

And you do. God, you do.

You make alternate Facebook accounts. New Instagrams. New TikToks.

They still find them. Make you delete them.

You make new ones. Block all of your mains on them. Hope and pray they don't find those.

You hide the pictures. The sweaters. The receipts.

But whatever you do, they always find out.

So, at some point, you just give up. You and Taylor break up for the better. Your dad reads the breakup message. Mocks it for how long it is.

Now, it's been months since you broke it off. You think of her every single fucking day.

But every time you do something wrong, every time you get angry, lash out, tell your siblings off, your father brings up the breakup. "What were the reaons you broke up with her?"

And you love him, really. You have a good relationship with him. But he doesn't take you seriously. You can't use your phone around him because he will sometimes try to look over your shoulder at it.

And you try not to cry when you think about it. You try to tell yourself he's just doing what he thinks is best for you. You try, so hard, to convince yourself that he just wants a good life for you.

But he's forcing heterosexuality on you. You can't tell him about something you're creating without him asking if it's heterosexual. You have to switch the pronouns from "she" to "he" when talking about a movie you're watching. You have to think of a random boy in your batch when he asks if you've got a crush on anyone handsome yet.

You have to skirt around the fact that you still can't forget about Taylor. You have to avoid saying "she" when talking about your actual crush.

You have to hide yourself. Because if you don't, they'll demand explanation. They'll bring up the breakup that had you sobbing into your hands for months afterward. They'll bring up that one twenty-four-year-old who had a crush on you at twelve. They'll say you're too young. They'll say you're brainwashed.

When, really, all you've wanted were parents who tried to support you. Who tried to understand you.

But without your "her" being a "him," there is no chance of that.

this isn't the best, and it's mostly me venting because my dad asked me just a few minutes ago where I was watching Arcane if it was rated 16, and I answered truthfully, of course, but he just didn't stop until I walked away. he also said that if he ever saw me watching sapphic movies on my Netflix, he'd switch my profile age restrictions from 13 to 7.

those things "your" parents said are actually things my own parents said. so. I can't watch anything sapphic around them.

thanks for reading