First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 32

  I know I told Dani we were done, but I've been worried about her. The other week when I went back to campus on Wednesday after missing two days, all her classes for the rest of the week were canceled. Then the following week we had a fill-in professor. Her vehicle was home both weeks, and apparently KK didn't even go to daycare either since Dani never left her house in the mornings. The only reason I know is because her car was never gone when I went on my morning runs.

  Now the university is already out for Christmas break, and I'm really tempted to go over to Dani's to check on her and KK. I haven't seen either of them in weeks and regardless of everything that happened, I still care about them and honestly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Dani. No matter what I do to distract myself, that amazing woman stays in my head.

  Even my dumb decision to sleep with Natalie didn't help. I know I technically didn't have a right to be mad about her sleeping with Chris, but it really bothered me. Hurt, actually. I just didn't understand how Dani could do that when she said she felt nothing for him, that she basically despised him. And the fact she slept with him right after me? That stung.

  Screw it, I'm going over there. If Dani doesn't answer the door, at least I'll know I tried. I pull my hoodie sleeve down to protect my healing tattoo from the sun and head next door to Dani's. As soon as I'm standing at her front door, I take a deep breath, ring the bell, and wait. I'm about to press it again when the door slowly opens.

  "Taytum? What... umm..." I watch her eyes trail down my body and then quickly jump back up. I use the moment to take in her appearance, ivory v-neck henley, black jeans that hug her curves. Damn. "Hey," she says, voice low.

  Our eyes meet. I can't help the smirk. "Hey, Dani."

  She glances around outside like she's checking for someone, odd, but then opens the door wider. "Come on in, please." Her voice is polite, careful. I step inside. As soon as she shuts and locks the door, she turns and practically lunges into me. Her arms wrap tight around me, and I freeze for half a second before giving in and hugging her back. Her body relaxes against mine.

  Dani starts to pull back, and I feel her lips brush my cheek, light, almost hesitant. When she steps away, there are tears in her eyes.

  "Dani, are you okay?"

  She shakes her head. "Can we talk, please?" Her eyes lock with mine. She glances down at my lips, swallows, then meets my eyes again. "I've missed you, Taytum. KK has too. I'm so sorry for what happened. For what I did."

  I frown, caught off guard, but before I can say anything she starts crying. I hesitate, but only for a beat, then pull her back into me. Old habits. I hold her and run my hand gently up and down her back, until I reach right above her jeans and she suddenly winces.

  I stop immediately.

  Once Dani calms down, I guide her to the couch. "Come on and sit down, Dani." I let go of her and we both sit, but I leave space between us.

  She leans forward to grab a tissue. Her shirt rides up and I see it, a large bruise on her lower back.

  "Dani, what happened to your back? Is that a bruise?"

  She quickly pulls her shirt down and sits back up. "Oh. I didn't realize there was a bruise there. I knew it was sore. I must've bumped into something." I furrow my brows. That bruise wasn't small. I want to press her on it, but I let it go, for now.

  Dani shifts slightly so her knee touches my leg. "Taytum... I want you to know how truly sorry I am. Sleeping with Chris meant nothing. I only did it to protect the both of us. He blackmailed me, and I should've known better than to trust him. Some stupid part of me hoped the man who used to be my best friend wouldn't go through with it. I should've told you but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. You were at the hospital, and I wasn't about to pull you away from your family when they needed you." She sniffles and stares at her lap.

  I reach over and take her hand, hesitating for a second before squeezing it lightly. "Dani, I'm sorry I got so mad. Technically, I didn't have a right. We weren't together. I think I was just more hurt than anything."

  Dani looks up, and before I can say anything else, she jumps in. "But I wanted that. I wanted to be with you." She shakes her head. "Not just like that. I mean, yes, I wanted that too... but I meant a real relationship. I wanted us to find a way to make it work."

  I give her a small, sad smile. "I'm sorry I had to leave that morning. Maybe if I'd stayed..."

  Dani shakes her head. "It still would've happened. Chris had the pictures. He would've used them no matter what. And just so you know, I lied when I told you what happened between us was a mistake. It wasn't. I don't regret it. I regret what happened with Chris. And I shouldn't have believed he deleted those pictures."

  I start to pull my hand away, but she grabs it again and starts playing with my fingers. "What do you mean? He kept them?"

  Dani nods. "Yes. And he... he sent them to the Dean anyway. Even after I gave in to stop him."

  My jaw clenches. I want to hit something. Preferably him. "What happened, Dani?"

  "A tear rolls down her cheek and she wipes it away fast. "I resigned. The Dean gave me two options... get fired and reported, which would cost me my teaching license, or resign quietly and keep it. If I resigned, I'd still get severance pay."

  I sigh and shake my head. "So that's why you haven't been at the university. I'm sorry, Dani. I really wish I could get five minutes alone with that asshole. It wouldn't fix anything, but it'd make me feel better. What are you going to do now?"

  She shrugs. "I don't know. Like I said, it's not your fault. I should've locked my office door. I'd done a good job ignoring my feelings for you, but at that moment... I just couldn't."

  We both chuckle.

  "Who has jokes now?" I smirk, and Dani pushes my shoulder. "Since we're being honest, I'm sorry about sleeping with your sister. I truly didn't know who she was. I regret going out at all. I definitely didn't plan on a one-night stand to try to get over you."

  Dani gives a small, tired smile. "We both did things we regret. Maybe now we can at least start to move forward. I'm sorry I hurt you, and you had every right to feel that way. I was hurt about Nat too, even though we weren't technically together. I'm not mad at you, I pushed you away after all. And I wasn't kidding, it's been hard trying not to feel what I was feeling for you."

  What she was feeling for me. Past tense. Like it's gone now. I try not to let that sting show on my face.

  "Thank you for talking with me, Dani and again, I'm sorry. Where's KK? I'd like to say hey."

  "She's with her other grandparents. Chris's parents wanted to see her. They definitely show up more than he does."

  I stand. "I'll get out of your hair. I just wanted to check on you. And if you need a babysitter, I'm still around. I overreacted, and I miss KK too much."

  Dani stands too. "She misses you. So do I. She's been asking about you constantly. You know, you don't have to leave. You can stay longer if you want. Maybe if you're willing..."

  The doorbell rings.

  Of course it does. I stare at the door, pulse picking up. Maybe it's my cue to go. Or maybe it's him. Either way, I'm not sure I'm ready for whatever comes next.