First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 125

  I wake up this morning already feeling tired.

  Not the kind of tired that scares me. Just the kind that settles into my bones and reminds me I am thirty weeks pregnant and my body is doing a lot of quiet work even when I am still. It's morning and the house feels different this morning. Like it knows today matters.

  It does matter because it's paint day. Taytum and her mom got the guest room cleared out and the home office moved downstairs yesterday.

  Taytum is already up. I can hear her downstairs moving around, cabinets opening, the low clink of mugs. KK's laugh floats up the stairs a second later. That soft, easy laugh that means she feels safe and happy before the day even starts.

  I take my time getting dressed. I slip on maternity leggings and one of Taytum's old shirts that stretches easily over my belly. When I look in the mirror, I pause. My stomach is round and full now. Definitely no hiding it or pretending. I press my hand there and feel a slow roll in response.

  "Okay," I whisper. "We're going."

  Downstairs smells like coffee and toast. Taytum is leaning against the counter, already in paint clothes that consist of old joggers and a tank with her hair pulled up in a messy bun. She looks strong like this. Grounded. Ready and so damn sexy.

  "Morning baby," she says, smiling like she has been waiting for me.

  KK runs over immediately and wraps her arms around my legs. "Today is baby room day."

  "It is," I say, laughing. "Are you ready to help?"

  She nods so hard her ponytail bounces. "I'm gonna be the best helper."

  Taytum raises an eyebrow and laughs. "You say that now."

  The paint cans are already stacked by the back door. Dusty blue and light gray. We are keeping the trim white like the rest of the house. We will paint the walls light gray and do the dusty blue as an accent wall where the crib will be. Seeing the colors together makes my chest flutter.

  The room upstairs looks so different being empty. It has been the home office since I moved in that I forgot to imagine it any other way. The walls are bare now. Just sunlight on the floor and a faint smell of old books.

  I stand in the doorway and suddenly feel everything at once. "What if we mess it up," I say quietly.

  Taytum steps up behind me and rests her hands on my hips. "Then we repaint."

  I laugh, breathless because I didn't know she was there. "I know. I just mean. This feels big."

  She presses a kiss to my shoulder. "It is big. That doesn't mean it's fragile."

  That helps settle my emotions. I guess I just want this to be perfect and I'm worried something will go wrong.

  We start slow, taping along the baseboards then make sure drop cloths are spread out. Taytum immediately takes the heavier stuff without even thinking about it. Lifts the five gallon paint can, carries the ladder, moves boxes like they barely exist.

  I tell myself I am being helpful. I tell myself I am focused but it is hard to focus when her arms flex every time she lifts something. I sit on the floor for a bit, sorting through a box of baby decor I ordered, and my eyes keep drifting up. The muscles in her arms move easily, controlled. Familiar and still somehow distracting. I swallow and shift where I'm sitting.

  "Do you need something," Taytum asks without turning around.

  "No," I say too fast. "I'm good." She hums like she does not believe me.