First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 44

  The table is full. Plates of honey ham with brown sugar glaze, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato casserole, rolls, and mama's famous mac and cheese take up nearly every inch. It smells like Christmas. It smells like home.

  Dani sits beside me, KK right beside her, already bouncing a little in her seat while waiting for everyone to sit down. Mama sits beside KK and smiles as she finishes pouring tea into the glasses. Mom and Tristan bring the gravy and homemade rolls to the table then sit down beside mama and myself.

  "Alright," Mama says, settling into her chair. "Let's get started."

  Plates start filling fast. Food passes back and forth, conversations layer over each other like they always do when we all get together. KK keeps everyone entertained with stories about Santa and the pink unicorn she is hoping for. Taylor teases her until mama gives him a look to knock it off.

  Dani is quiet but not in a distant way. She laughs when KK gets loud, smiles as my family carries on, and every so often, I catch her eyes on me. Not worried. Just watching. Like she is soaking it all in. I keep glancing at her while I eat. She looks lighter tonight. There is color in her face, a few more smiles, a little more ease. The last few weeks have been heavy, but tonight, even if just for tonight, it feels like she can breathe again.

  Dani laughs when KK insists she take extra rolls and lets mama pile more green beans onto her plate. She even teases Tristan about his third helping of ham. This feels normal. Comfortable. Exactly what I want for Dani.

  "You know," mama says as she reaches for more dressing, "I think this might be my favorite Christmas Eve yet."

  Mom smiles. "Mine too."

  Dani gives a small smile. "Thank you both again for inviting us. It means a lot."

  KK is in her element too, chatting non-stop, telling Tristan about a Christmas movie she watched yesterday morning. "And then Santa fell off the roof but it was okay 'cause the elf fixed it with sparkles," she says, waving her hands like she was reenacting the whole scene.

  Tristan grins. "Man, I must've missed that version."

  Mom chuckles beside him. "Sounds like a solid backup plan if the real Santa gets stuck."

  Dani shakes her head and smiles at me. I smile back, feeling that quiet pull between us. She doesn't have to say anything, I see it in her eyes.

  We keep eating, talking, laughing like we aren't carrying any of the weight we have carried recently. My moms make sure of that. They always do. They don't bring up anything heavy, don't ask any hard questions. They just wrap the whole night in warmth.

  Once everyone is full, we all push back from the table. "Alright," mama says. "No disappearing. Everybody helps clean up."

  "Yes, ma'am," Tristan says with defeat as he stands and grabs his plate.

  KK jumps up too. "Can I help?"

  Dani reaches over and smooths her daughter's hair. "You can help bring the rolls to the kitchen."

  We move like a team again. Tristan and I clear the plates. Mom packs up leftovers. Mama wipes down the counters. Dani carries glasses, and KK follows behind, bringing the rolls. It doesn't take long before the kitchen is spotless again and mama declares it good.

  "Now for my favorite part," mom says, grinning. "Presents." Mama and mom have always allowed us to open one gift on Christmas Eve, sometimes more. It's one of our traditions.

  We all file into the living room. The tree lights glow soft and warm, throwing little patches of color across the floor. The gifts are stacked neatly underneath, more than usual for Christmas Eve this year because of the ones I brought tonight since I would be at Dani's for Christmas.