First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 65

  I can still feel my heart thumping after the front door closes behind Nat. The house settles into an unfamiliar quiet, like it's catching its breath too. Taytum glances at me, concern already softening her face.

  "You okay?" she asks gently.

  I rub my hands up and down my arms and shrug. "I will be," I murmur, and it's the truth. Even though my sister's visit left me feeling unsettled, the weight of Taytum's presence is like a tether pulling me back to myself.

  She steps close, her hands resting lightly on my waist. "She didn't mean anything," she says, but her gaze is steady, telling me she knows for me it's more complicated than that.

  "I just..." I trail off. "That look she gave you. It brought up a lot. Maybe too much."

  "I know," Taytum says. "And you have every right to feel however you feel about it." Her thumb strokes my side, small circles that ease some of the tension. "I'm here with you. None of that matters anymore. Only this. Only us."

  That's what I needed to hear. I lean into her, tucking my face into the curve of her neck. Her arms come around me without hesitation, strong and warm, and I let myself sink into her softness. The knot in my chest slowly unwinds.

  "You want to just do nothing tonight?" Taytum asks against my hair.

  A breath of a laugh escapes me. "That sounds perfect."

  We move into the kitchen together, brushing hands as we putter around fixing something simple for dinner. Taytum pulls some leftovers from the fridge and hums under her breath while the microwave whirs. I lean against the counter, hands resting on my belly without even thinking. Ten weeks along, my body is already changing, my jeans a touch tighter, my energy less predictable and it still feels a little unreal.

  "Are you tired?" Taytum asks, catching my hands and squeezing them.

  "More like my whole body is humming," I admit. "Work then the appointment kind of took it out of me."

  Taytum's gaze drops briefly to my hands on my belly, and a softness blooms across her face. "That's because you're doing all kinds of work," she says. "Your body's making a whole person. Of course you're tired." The way she says it, like it's some incredible miracle, makes my throat ache in the best way. I can feel my eyes sting and I blink quickly. "Come here," she murmurs, and I do. Being held like this has become one of my favorite places.

  KK's voice carries in from the living room as she takes drawing supplies to the coffee table, humming some little made-up song as she walks. The sound of her gentle chatter settles into the spaces between us like a balm. Taytum keeps her arms around me, her chin resting lightly on my hair.

  "You two make me feel so grounded," I whisper after a moment. "I'm still learning how to just... be but I like who I am when I'm with you."

  "That's because you're safe," Taytum says. She leans back enough to look into my eyes. "That's what you deserve, baby. Nothing less." And there it is, that word on her lips again, baby. It shouldn't matter so much, but it does. It's simple and easy and full of affection. I kiss her softly and then turn to put plates on the table.

  We eat together in an easy rhythm, Taytum telling KK funny little stories about her classes and me listening with a small smile. Every so often Taytum's eyes find mine, lingering just a second too long before moving away, and my heart gives a soft ache. Even after such a long day, she's here, present and warm and exactly who I hoped she'd be.

  By the time dinner is over, I can feel the tiredness sinking into my bones. Taytum catches my yawn and reaches across the table to take my hand. "Why don't you go soak for a bit?" she says. "I'll do bath time and get KK settled."

  "You sure?" I ask, though my body is already leaning into the thought.

  "Of course," Taytum says, grinning. "Go on. Take care of yourself."

  That ease in her voice is like a gift. I kiss her cheek, murmur a thank you, and head upstairs. The bathroom is quiet, the light warm as I draw a bath and sink into the water. Steam curls up around me and I let my head rest against the edge of the tub, hands drifting to my belly again.

  "You're okay," I whisper to the baby, feeling a tender mix of awe and protectiveness. "We're okay." My fingers trace slow circles across my belly. I picture all of us together; me, Taytum, KK, and this tiny life we made room for and the thought settles deep. It feels real in a way I didn't quite let myself believe before. Warm water, warm thoughts, my breath going easy. Downstairs, I can hear Taytum and KK laughing about something, their voices soft and sweet. It makes me smile, my whole body relaxing.

  By the time I'm out of the shower dressed in one of my favorite worn T-shirts of Taytum's and cozy lounge pants, the house is hushed. Taytum's voice carries from KK's room as she reads a bedtime story. I pad down the hall and lean against the doorframe to listen. Her voice is gentle and steady, weaving KK into a sleepy softness as the last page is turned. When she looks up and catches me there, she smiles like she already knows my thoughts. She presses a kiss to KK's forehead, tucks her in, and then comes to me.

  "Hey," she murmurs.

  "Hey," I echo, reaching up to smooth my hands across her shoulders.

  "You look lighter," she says.

  "Feel lighter," I admit, leaning into her. "That bath was just what I needed."

  "Good," she says. "That's what I hoped for."

  We make our way downstairs together, hands brushing. The house feels cozy, like every light and sound is part of a shelter we're creating. Taytum sighs as she sinks into the couch, her arm going around my shoulders like it belongs there. I can feel the last bit of tension ease out of her as well, the kind of tiredness that only comes when you know you're home. And I rest my head against her chest.

  For a while we just sit like this, listening to the gentle rhythm of the house, the dishwasher humming, a clock ticking, Taytum's heartbeat steady against my ear.

  "You were really sweet with KK tonight," I murmur.

  "She's easy to be sweet with," Taytum replies. "And so are you."

  That softness again, reaching under my ribs like a warm light. I tip my chin up so I can kiss her, slow and lingering, until we're breathless and smiling. When I pull back, Taytum traces my jaw with her fingertips, eyes full of love and so much more and I feel all the same.

  "You're my favorite part of every day," she says quietly. "Both of you. Three of you," she adds, palm splaying across my belly.

  That tender weight settles in me all over again, Taytum here with me, KK asleep upstairs, this baby humming along in my body like a tiny secret. My eyes sting, but this time it's all softness.

  "You're my favorite part too," I whisper. "Every bit of you." As I rest my head against her shoulder, I realize this is what I want to hold onto, these simple, quiet moments, so full of safety and promise. The world outside can wait. Right here, in this gentle pocket of time, everything feels exactly as it should and I can see myself falling even more in love with Taytum.