First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 68

  Eventually, I walk back into the living room and settle into the corner of the couch, watching from a distance. Taytum at the sink, KK pulling out her crayons behind her, the hum of a house that finally feels full.

  I close my eyes and lean my head back as I listen to the two of them chatter back and forth. It's not long until I hear Taytum start the dishwasher and the scooting out of a stool at the island. I open my eyes and look in their direction and find KK is cross-legged on the floor with her coloring book, Taytum lying beside her, propped on her elbows.

  KK hums while she colors, then looks over at Taytum and asks, "Do you think you could teach me how to draw a puppy like the one you made last week?"

  Taytum grins. "Of course. Do you want it sitting or standing?"

  "Sitting," KK says seriously. "But with a big smile."

  "You got it."

  Taytum reaches for a pencil and starts sketching beside her, guiding KK through each line. There's a patience in her voice that sinks straight through my ribs. The way she gently encourages her, praises each effort, slows down when KK's hand gets tired, it hits me in that deep, quiet place where love builds without asking.

  I can hear the sound of KK giggling, the scratch of the pencil on paper, the tiny sighs she makes when she concentrates. Taytum responds to all of it like she's fluent in KK's language. Not just listening, but hearing.

  Then I hear it, soft but clear.

  "TayTay?" KK's voice is softer now, more serious. I can't help but look in their direction.

  "Yeah, princess?" Taytum says as she sits up, giving KK her full attention.

  My daughter hesitates. "Can I call you Mama T?"

  My breath catches. Taytum stills for a second too.

  "You want to call me that?" she asks gently, her voice catching just a little and I can hear the emotion underneath.

  KK nods. "You take care of me. You make me pancakes. You always make me feel better. And you live with us now. And I love you. That's all things mommies do, right?"

  My chest tightens, tears welling.

  Taytum's voice cracks just barely. "You can call me whatever feels right to you, princess. If that's what you want, then I'd be really, really honored."

  KK beams and wraps her arms around Taytum's neck. "I love you, mama T."

  Taytum's arms fold around KK like it's instinct. "I love you too, princess. So much."

  They stay like that for a moment, quiet and still. KK's little fingers grip the back of Taytum's shirt like she's afraid to let go. Taytum holds her closer and rocks gently, her eyes closed. I don't think she even knows I'm still watching.

  Watching them hug and I press a hand to my mouth, overwhelmed by the weight of what I just heard and witnessed. Something shifts in me again. It keeps happening like this, quiet moments that stretch wide and deep. The weight of it, the beauty of it... it's almost too much but it's not. It's everything I never thought I'd have. I feel it down to my bones, this is what love looks like.

  When it's KK's bedtime, I read one of her favorite books and tuck her under the covers. She's already blinking slowly when Taytum walks in to say goodnight. I step into the hallway to give them a moment, but I pause near the door when I hear KK's voice, soft and careful.

  "TayTay?"

  "Yeah, princess?"

  "You sure it's okay for me to call you mama T?" KK asks softly.

  Taytum's voice is thick with emotion. "That's more than okay. That's the best thing I've heard in forever. Come here."

  I blink back tears as I hear KK's small laugh and the sound of a tight hug. I step away quietly, letting them have that moment, my chest full of warmth I don't have words for.

  Downstairs, I curl up on the couch, pulling a blanket over my lap. A few minutes later, Taytum joins me, fresh from tucking KK in. She sinks down beside me without a word, just wraps her arm around me and pulls me in close. I let myself settle against her, resting my head on her chest.

  "I'm so glad you're here," I whisper.

  "I'm not going anywhere," Taytum murmurs back. "This is where I'm meant to be."

  We sit like that for a long time, wrapped in a blanket, the house dim and quiet, the soft hum of the dishwasher in the background. My fingers tangle with hers and I feel her thumb trace lazy circles on the back of my hand.

  "She asked if she could call you mama T," I whisper after a moment.

  "Yeah," Taytum says, voice soft and full. "I wasn't ready for it. Not really. But then she said it and I just... felt it. Like it fit."

  I nod against her shoulder. "It does."

  Taytum leans down and presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Are you okay with it?"

  "More than okay," I murmur. "It means something. Not just to her... but to me too."

  She tightens her hold on me. "I love her so much, Dani. I love you both so damn much."

  I lift my head just enough to look into her eyes. "You're already her person. You're mine too. This house... it feels like a home because of you."

  Taytum brushes her thumb over my cheek, eyes locked on mine. "You really mean that?"

  "I do," I say. "Every bit of it."

  She leans in and kisses me slowly, like she's trying to say something words can't. I return it with everything I've been carrying, every inch of love and safety and warmth she's given me. When we finally break apart, we just stay there, foreheads resting together, breaths synced.

  "You're everything I didn't know I needed," I whisper.

  Taytum cups my face with both hands. "And you're everything I have ever wanted and more."

  We sit in silence after that, wrapped up in each other. The quiet isn't heavy. It's whole. It's full.

  "Do you ever think about the future?" I ask quietly.

  Taytum shifts just enough to look at me. "All the time."

  "Me too."

  There's a beat where neither of us speaks, but it's not from uncertainty. It's from knowing. From feeling the weight of everything that's already built between us. I curl closer into her side and feel her hand slide to rest over my belly.

  We sit like that for a long moment, eyes locked, hearts synced. Taytum brushes a strand of hair away from my face and leans in to kiss me again, slow and lingering. There's nothing rushed about it. Just presence. Just love.

  "I love you," I whisper against her lips.

  "I love you too," she says. "More than I ever thought I could."

  I rest my head on her chest again, one hand settles low over my belly, the other twines with hers under the blanket. The future doesn't feel so far away anymore. It feels like it's already here, wrapped in the soft quiet of this moment, in the laughter that was upstairs, in the love sitting beside me on this couch.