First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 104

  It's now the first week of March and it's been two weeks since the letter. Two weeks since Dani sat on the couch with her hands shaking, reading Chris's sloppy handwriting, and two weeks since she ripped it to pieces and we burned it out back in the fire pit the next day. The ashes blew away in the wind, and I swear I watched something leave Dani with them.

  The doctor's office feels familiar by now. Same white walls, same quiet waiting room, same faint smell of hand sanitizer. Dani signs in at the front desk and we take our usual seats by the window. She leans back in the chair, one hand resting over her belly, the other holding my hand. Today is her twenty week OB appointment. Halfway there.

  She took the day off from work for this, and I don't have class, so it feels nice to just be here without rushing. Even though Dani always stresses over every appointment, she looks calmer overall lately. Since she went back to therapy after that letter, she's been lighter, more like herself again. It shows in the way she talks, in how she laughs more.

  Dani's name gets called, and we head down the hall. The nurse takes her weight first, then checks her blood pressure. "One twenty over seventy-six," the nurse says, smiling. "Perfect."

  Dani grins. "Good. I've been trying to stay on top of everything."

  "You're doing great," the nurse says. Then she hands Dani a little plastic cup and points toward the bathroom. "You know the routine."

  While she's gone, the nurse directs me to the room we will be in. I sit on the exam table stool, flipping through a pamphlet about baby development at twenty weeks. There's a photo of a baby the size of a banana, tiny and perfect. I stare at it, realizing our boy is about that big right now.

  Dani comes in and I quickly stand, offering her a hand to help her onto the exam table. Her bump is so much bigger now, round and obvious under her shirt, and I find myself touching it every chance I get. KK does too, talking to her little brother every morning before preschool. Dani rolls her eyes when I lean down and talk to her belly like he can hear me, but she's smiling every time.

  The nurse comes in then pulls out the Doppler monitor. "Let's take a listen before we go to the ultrasound room."

  She squeezes some gel on Dani's belly and moves the probe until the fast, steady rhythm fills the room. That sound still gets me every time. It's like a heartbeat that pulls everything else into focus.

  "There he is," the nurse says softly. "Strong heartbeat at one-forty-two."

  Dani closes her eyes and smiles. I can see her shoulders drop a little, like she can finally breathe. I know she worries the day of each appointment that something will be wrong. No matter how much I reassure her, she still worries.

  After the nurse leaves, the doctor comes in with her usual kind smile. "Alright, ladies. Halfway there. How are we feeling?"

  Dani laughs. "Honestly? Better than I expected. Tired, but good."

  "That's what I like to hear." The doctor checks her chart, listens to her lungs, presses gently on her belly. "Any cramping or bleeding?"

  "No."

  "Good. And you're still taking your prenatals?"

  "Every night," Dani says.

  "Perfect." The doctor makes a note, then looks at both of us. "You two ready to see your little guy again?"

  Dani's eyes light up. "Always."

  "Great. The nurse will take you and I will be in shortly."

  A waiting nurse leads us to the ultrasound room and we quickly follow. The lights are dim, the air cold enough to make Dani shiver a little. She lies back on the table again, lifting her shirt while the waiting tech preps the machine. I sit beside Dani, holding her hand.