First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 110

  KK falls asleep fast after her bath. One story and she is out with her Princess Tiana plush tucked under her arm. I turn off her lamp and pull the door almost closed. My back still aches but less now. Taytum's hands helped more than she knows.

  I hear her in KK's bathroom putting towels in the hamper and clearing the counter. I walk into our bedroom and change into one of her shirts, then sit on the edge of the bed. The room is warm and dim. The covers are turned down like she planned ahead.

  Taytum walks in a moment later and closes the door. She looks at me like she is checking every part of me in one sweep. "How's your back?" she asks.

  "Better," I say. "You helped."

  She smiles a little and crosses the room. Her hand touches my cheek and I lean into her palm. I do not hide how tired I am. I never have to. She sees it all. "Come on and lie down," she says.

  This baby feels heavier at night. Busy too. He shifts low when I slip under the covers. I stretch out on my side and Taytum climbs in behind me. She pulls the blanket up and settles her arm around my waist. Her body fits against mine in a way that makes everything else fall away.

  For a minute I just breathe. Slow. Deep. Her breath touches the back of my neck. "You good?" she asks.

  "Better now," I whisper.

  She kisses my shoulder. Slow. Soft. Her hand rubs small circles over my belly and he kicks once like he wants attention. I smile into the pillow.

  Taytum feels it. "He is busy tonight."

  "Yeah. He hasn't stopped."

  She kisses the back of my shoulder again and my body loosens. The dark wraps around us. The day sinks off my skin. Then it hits me. The thought that keeps circling my brain. "You want to talk baby names?" I ask.

  Taytum laughs under her breath. "Right now?"

  "Yes." I roll onto my back so I can look at her. She props herself up on her elbow and strokes her thumb across my cheek. Her eyes are warm and steady. It makes the words easier.

  "Alright," she says. "Let's talk."

  I take a breath. "I want something that works with Kadence McKenna. Something that matches her energy. Strong. Balanced. Not too out there. And it has to sound good when you say them together."

  Taytum smiles. "You want harmony."

  "Yes. But not matchy. Just right."

  She brushes her fingers through my hair. "Okay. What kind of names are you leaning toward?"

  "I don't know yet. But Kadence McKenna has that balance. Strong, a little sweet, a little musical. I want his first and middle to have their own weight but still fit beside hers. I want them to sound like siblings. Not two names that fight each other."

  Taytum nods. "Alright. So something strong. Something steady."

  I smile. "Something that doesn't sound like we picked it off a TikTok trend."

  She laughs at that and kisses my cheek. "Agreed."

  I stare at the ceiling for a second. "I think strong first name, steady middle. Something that sounds good for a baby and still good when he's older. Give me something you like."

  She thinks for a second. "I like Grayson. It sounds good with Kadence."

  "It does." I trace a slow pattern over her stomach. "Grayson really works as a first name."

  "What about a middle?" she asks.

  I let the silence stretch because there is a part of me she does not know yet. A part that keeps imagining his full name printed on paperwork. On a hospital bassinet. On artwork for his nursery. And in every version he has her last name. Not mine.

  Taytum waits without pushing. That makes my chest tighten because I want this life with her more than I ever expected to.

  "What about Everett?" I say finally. "Grayson Everett has a steady strength. A clean rhythm."

  "Yeah. It does." She smiles. She looks settled and happy and fully here with me.

  Saying it out loud sends a spark through me. The names fit. They fit with Kadence McKenna. They fit us. They fit this family we are building.

  But the rest stays behind my teeth. I want him to be a James. I want to be a James too. I want that before he is born. Before the photos in the hospital. Before the bracelets. Before all of it.

  Taytum runs her hand over my belly again. "Grayson Everett Howard sounds really good, I like it." I nod even though it lands wrong in my chest. Not bad. Just small. Too small for what we are building and what I secretly want.

  My mind drifts and I picture something else. KK running through the house with a backpack that says James. Papers from school with the same name as Taytum. Adoption documents that say we share her. That she is hers as much as mine. The woman who tucks her in every night. The woman she already claims without needing the ink.

  It hits deep and warm and a little scary. I want all of that. I want Taytum legally tied to both my kids. I want the family she already acts like she belongs to.

  I blink back and Taytum is still watching me. "You spaced out," she says softly.

  "Just thinking."

  "Good thoughts?"

  "Yeah." I kiss her shoulder. "Really good ones."

  She squeezes my hand. "You got another name?"

  "Not yet, I really like Grayson Everett," I say.

  "We can always make a list tomorrow. Say them out loud. Match them with Kadence's name. Find what feels right, if you want to."

"Yeah we could but I do really like Grayson Everett," I say.

  She leans in and kisses me slow and sure. Her hand cups my cheek and the last of the tension leaves me. She settles closer and the bed feels warm and safe again. The baby shifts and Taytum smiles. "He likes hearing us talk."

  "He knows your voice," I say. "He always reacts to you."

  She brushes her thumb across my belly. "He is going to be a mama's boy. I already know it."

  I laugh under my breath, but there is hope behind it. Quiet. Tight. Real. My thoughts take over again. Before he is born, I want us married. I want the paperwork done. I want the name done. I want him to come into a world where he does not just belong to me. He belongs to both of us.

  I do not tell Taytum. Not yet. It is not the right moment. Instead I rest my forehead against hers.

  "We will figure his name out," I say. "And everything else too."

  Taytum kisses my nose. Soft. Sure. "Always."

  He moves between us like he agrees. I fall asleep thinking about all four of us. The family we already are. And the one we are still becoming.