First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 115

  I wake up before Dani does. The room is dim, early morning gray slipping through the curtains. The house is quiet in that soft way it only gets when everyone is still asleep. I stay still for a minute, letting myself take in the weight of her on me.

  She is sprawled across my chest. One hand is tucked under my shirt, fingers resting warm against my ribs. Her other hand is curved over her stomach like she fell asleep protecting the baby without thinking. Her breath hits the same spot under my collarbone over and over.

  She didn't move once all night.

  I'm almost scared to breathe too deep in case it wakes her. She needed this. Yesterday drained her in a way nothing else could have. The emotions, the memories, the fear she tried to swallow. By the time she broke down, she had nothing left.

  I just hold her and run my thumb slowly up and down her arm, keeping my touch soft so I don't pull her out of the one peaceful thing she's had in twenty four hours.

  A soft shuffle sounds down the hallway. Small feet. Light steps. KK. I hear her pause at our door but she doesn't push it open. She whispers to herself, "They're still sleeping," then tiptoes back to her room.

  I smile as I kiss the top of Dani's head. "Still asleep," I whisper even though she can't hear me.

  She shifts a little, but she doesn't wake. I ease my arm out from under her so I can sit up a little. She sinks into the mattress but stays asleep, face relaxed and soft. I brush her hair off her cheek. She looks peaceful. Still tender around the edges, but peaceful.

  I slip out of bed carefully. She doesn't move. She barely even stirs. Her breathing stays slow and deep. I tuck the blanket around her and make sure her hand stays over her stomach. She always sleeps better like that.

  When I step into the hallway, the house is still quiet except for the faint click of KK's toys in her room. I peek in and see her sitting on the floor with her dolls, whispering to them like she's having a whole conversation only they can hear.

  She sees me and stands up fast. "Mama T!"

  I smile. "Good morning, princess."

  She runs into me full force and I lift her onto my hip. She hugs me tight, chin digging into my shoulder. "Is mommy still sleepy?" she asks.

  "Yeah. Mommy had a long day yesterday."

  KK nods like she understands every part of that. Her little arms tighten around my neck. "We be quiet then."

  "That would help a lot," I say.

  I carry her downstairs and set her at the kitchen table. I get her cereal, start the coffee and open the blinds. Light spills into the kitchen and the house starts to feel awake.

  KK swings her feet and eats her cereal slowly. "Can mommy have pancakes when she wakes up?" she asks.

  "We can make her some," I say. "She'll like that."

  KK grins. "I can help. I'm good at stirring."

  I laugh under my breath. "Yes you are."

  We keep it quiet and simple. Cereal for her. Coffee for me. Pancake mix out on the counter. I keep glancing up the stairs to listen for Dani but hear nothing. I'm glad she's still resting though. She needs every minute.

  After about twenty minutes, soft slow footsteps sound upstairs. Not rushed. A little uneven. The way someone walks when they're still waking up. KK hears it too. She gasps and jumps off her chair. "Mommy's awake!"

  "Walk, baby," I say, even though she's already halfway to the stairs.

  I follow her up and she pushes open our bedroom door. Dani is sitting on the edge of the bed, hair messy, eyes soft with sleep, one hand on her belly. Her voice is still rough from crying the day before.