First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 48

  When I walked out of the home gym, towel slung over my shoulder and still catching my breath, I didn't expect to see Dani and my mama clinging to each other in the kitchen. Dani's shoulders were shaking. Her face was streaked with tears and it hit me in the chest like a punch. My feet froze where I stood.

  "Is everything okay?" The words came out quicker than I meant them to.

  They both startled at the sound of my voice. My mama pulled away first, wiping at her own eyes before stepping back to give Dani space. Dani turned to look at me, cheeks flushed and wet.

  "They got him," Dani said, voice trembling but strong. "Chris. He's in custody. No bail."

  For a second, I couldn't move. Then all I could do was close the distance between us and wrap an arm around her. Mom left the kitchen to go make a phone call and Dani melted into me without hesitation. Relief hit me like a wave, but under it was something heavier, rage, guilt, grief. He wouldn't be able to touch her again but he already had and she'd be carrying the pieces of that forever.

  I wrapped my other arm around Dani and held her. "I'm proud of you," I whispered, resting my chin on the top of her head. "So damn proud of you." She didn't say anything. Just held on tighter.

  The next few days feel lighter, in some ways. We have not talked about Christmas day yet but I still show up to be there for Dani and to help with KK if needed. Yes, her words hurt but deep down I know they were coming from a place of fear. I don't want her to think that I would completely walk away that easily. Her spirit is coming back. She truly smiles at KK's jokes again. Laughs softly at something I say.

  When she nervously asked me if I'd go to her OB appointment with her the next day, I tried to play it cool. I just nodded and said "of course" like it was no big deal but inside? I was spinning but in a good way.

  Dani's OB appointment is early, first slot this morning. The waiting room is quiet and smells like lemon-scented cleaner and old magazines. Dani sits next to me, hands folded in her lap, holding one of mine, eyes locked on the floor and I keep mine on her. "You okay?" I ask, softly.

  She nods. "Just nerves."

  "I'm right here." That gets me a glance. Just a quick one but it lingers. When they call Dani's name, she stands slowly, and I stand with her. She doesn't let go of my hand. The nurse leads us to the back, into a room and has Dani change into a gown. The lights are dimmed when the ultrasound tech comes in. She smiles, asks the usual questions, and makes small talk. Dani barely says a word, I know she is nervous and is in her head.

  When the screen lights up, and I see the flicker of movement inside her, I stop breathing. A tiny shape. A heartbeat. Life. Tears burn my eyes before I can stop them.

  "That's your baby," the tech says gently. "Measuring right around nine weeks." I look at Dani in awe of her. She is staring at the screen, eyes wide, hand over her mouth then she lowers her hand and I see a smile.

  Without thinking, I lean forward, kiss her lips, and whisper, "God, I love you. Look at our baby." The second the words leave my mouth, it is like the air in the room changes. The kiss was impulsive, soft and short, but the words? Those landed. Heavy. Real. Raw.

  Dani turns slowly to look at me, her lips parted, her eyes glassy with more than just tears. She doesn't say anything. Just searches my face like she is trying to decide if I mean it.

  "I mean that," I say quietly, in case there is any doubt. "I know everything's messy and I know this baby isn't mine, but I love you and I already love them too. I can't pretend I don't. I'm..." Dani blinks, like she is trying to hold it together and shakes her head. Her fingers reach for mine where they are curled in my lap and she links them together.