First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 64

  I glance at the clock on my classroom wall and feel my stomach do a little flip. Almost time to go. My hands feel a bit clammy as I smooth a stray curl behind my ear and straighten the papers on my desk. My ten-week OB appointment is this afternoon and even though Taytum keeps telling me everything is going to be fine, I cannot help feeling nervous.

  The bell rings and my students shuffle out in a sleepy, noisy bunch. I tidy up quickly and text Taytum that I will be on my way to the car in a couple minutes. As soon as I put my phone in my purse my substitute for the rest of the day walks in. I let the sub know the work is not my desk for the last period and grab my belongings, heading to the door. True to her word, Taytum is waiting in the parking lot, leaning against the passenger door with that easy smile that settles my nerves.

  "You ready, baby?" she asks as she opens the car door and I slide into the seat.

  Once she's in too, I lean up to kiss her cheek. "I am," I say, mostly convincing myself.

  We drive to the clinic with my hand tucked in hers, her thumb tracing my knuckles the way it always does. In the waiting room, Taytum looks over at me and smiles like we have all the time in the world. That is enough to help me breathe.

  When they call my name, Taytum squeezes my hand and follows me back. The nurse takes my weight and blood pressure, hands me a cup for the urine sample and then a gown. Taytum waits with me in the exam room, rubbing my back as I perch on the edge of the table.

  A few minutes later, my doctor comes in and goes over my history, my labs, and my last ultrasound. Everything looks good so far.

  "Your baby is about the size of a strawberry," she says warmly as she preps the doppler.

  I hold my breath as she moves the wand across my belly. Then, there it is, the fast, steady sound of a tiny heartbeat. My eyes sting as my fingers tighten around Taytum's. She looks at me like she cannot believe it either.

  "Nice and strong," the doctor tells us, and my chest feels like it could burst. "Looks like your due date is around August 24th. Congratulations."

  Afterward, we leave with my next appointment scheduled at 14 weeks and a few informational printouts in my hands.

  "You're doing amazing," Taytum tells me as we climb into the car. That glow stays with me all the way to pre k. KK squeals when she spots us together and bounces into her seat with a chattery report about a picture she painted.

  At home, Taytum leans against the counter as I pour KK a glass of milk.

  "I think I'm gonna go for a run," she says, stretching her arms overhead.

  "Sounds good," I reply, already picturing her in her usual gear. "You haven't had much time in the mornings lately since you have been taking KK and I to school and dropping us off."

  Taytum grins, kisses my cheek, KK's forehead then disappears upstairs and is back a few minutes later in her running shorts and sports bra. She leans in to kiss me one more time before heading out.

  A knock on the front door surprises me a few minutes after Taytum leaves. When I answer it, my sister Nat is on the porch with her purse slung over one shoulder.

  "Hey," she says, stepping inside before I can even invite her.

"Oh... hey," I reply, still a bit thrown as I wave her toward the couch. "This is a surprise."

  "I had the afternoon off," Nat shrugs, looking around like she's checking the place over. KK takes off to her playroom to play tea party while Nat and I sit in the living room. We catch up for a bit, work, life, usual stuff, until I hear the front door open and close. I stand up as Taytum walks in, face glowing from her run, one earbud still tucked in as she kicks off her shoes.

  "Hey," Taytum says, a little breathless, eyes already on me. Nat's gaze settles on her and stays there. It is obvious, and I feel my shoulders tense.

  Taytum doesn't seem to notice as she comes straight to me, places her hands on my hips. "I'm going to hop in the shower," she murmurs before leaning in for a slow kiss. "I'll be right back, baby."

  "Okay," I say softly against her lips.

  Taytum disappears upstairs, and I'm left standing there, arms crossed. Nat's gaze lingers in the direction Taytum just went, and my stomach twists. I clear my throat. "Taytum and I are together," I say, my tone sharper than before.

  Nat blinks like she's been pulled out of a thought. "Together like... you're dating?"

  "Yes," I reply, my voice even but my hands tight around each other. "And she's moved in." That earns a small laugh, not mean, I guess more surprised and Nat leans back against the couch. "Wow. That's... a lot to take in," she says, looking up at me.

  I hold her gaze, feeling heat creep into my face. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't look at her like that," I add.

  Nat's smile fades. "Like what?"

  "You know what," I say, crossing my arms. "You and Taytum have history."

  That finally wipes the smirk off Nat's face. She looks away, rubbing her hands together. "That was a little while ago," she mutters.

  "Still," I reply. "She's not someone you stare at like that."

  There's a long, tense silence between us before Nat sighs. "I didn't mean anything by it," she says finally. "It just caught me off guard, that's all."

  I don't move. "I need you to respect my relationship, Nat."

  Nat looks up at me then, and for a moment we just look at each other, my heart thumping louder than I want it to. My hands are trembling slightly where they're folded across my chest and there's this hard, aching knot in my stomach. I hate that her words still sting, that they make me question myself even for a second.

  Finally she gives a small nod. "Of course," she says, quieter this time. "I just don't get it."

  "Get what exactly," I ask, my tone clipped even though my chest feels too tight.

  Nat rolls her eyes. "Just at the end of November you were a bitch to Taytum. Practically used her and now you've somehow managed to pull her back in and move in with you to play house."

  I didn't hear Taytum's footsteps but suddenly heard, "Excuse you!"

  Nat and I both look in the direction of Taytum's voice. Just hearing her familiar voice, my shoulders drop a little. "I think it's best you leave, Natalie. You're not coming in here and disrespecting Dani like that. That's inexcusable, sister or not."

  Nat looks shocked but gets up and leaves without another word. There's still a knot in my chest, my hands still trembling as the door shuts behind her, but Taytum is here with me now, and whatever past they shared for one night, that part of Taytum's life is over. I need to just tell myself that what we have is real, and I'm not going to let anything make me feel less sure of it.