First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 39

  When Dani is finally cleared to go home, her body is moving, but I can tell her soul is still catching up. She looks so small in that wheelchair. Vulnerable in a way I haven't seen before. Her clothes hang a little looser than before, her skin paler under the overhead lights. The nurse comes in with the discharge papers, instructions, a list of medications, and an OB appointment already set up. Dani barely nods through it. I can tell her mind is somewhere else, lost somewhere between pain and survival.

  I help her dress slowly, careful not to move too fast. Every wince she tries to hide doesn't go unnoticed. She buttons her coat with trembling fingers, eyes locked on the floor like she can't quite believe she's really leaving. When we step into the elevator, she leans into me ever so slightly, like the ground might shift again.

  It's three days before Christmas when we leave the hospital. Cold air meets us at the doors. As we reach the front entrance, I spot Natalie standing near the curb. Her face twists the second she sees Dani. She rushes forward, covering her mouth with one hand and dropping her bag with the other. The sound she makes when she reaches her sister isn't quite a sob, but it cracks something in my chest.

  "Oh my God, Dani," Natalie whispers, her voice tight and broken.

  Dani doesn't let go of my hand. Not once. Even as Natalie drops to her knees beside the wheelchair and hugs her tight. Dani keeps her grip locked around my fingers like I'm her anchor.

  Dani leans close and mumbles something to her sister. I can't hear it, but whatever it is, Natalie nods slowly.

  "I get it," she says softly. "I'll see you later."

  "I'm sorry," Dani whispers.

  Natalie gives a small smile, the kind that doesn't quite reach her eyes, and walks off quietly. I watch her go, wondering what weight she's carrying or at least wondering what Dani said to her.

  We pull up to Dani's house late in the afternoon. My moms are already there. After I help Dani out of the car, I guide her up to the front step. She stops short, staring at the front door.

  The door is solid now. New frame. Reinforced. New lock. You can't tell it had ever been kicked in, but Dani can.

  "My moms had the whole door replaced," I say gently, stepping beside her. "Reinforced frame, new lock system."

  She nods slowly.

  "And they added security cams. Front and back. Motion lights too."

  That's when Dani stops walking.

  "They didn't have to do all that," she whispers.

  "They know they didn't," I say. "They did it anyway. For you. For KK."

  Tears well in her eyes.

  "They told me at the hospital," she says. "I didn't even know what to say. I told them I'd pay them back..."

  I shake my head. "You don't have to. That's not why they did it."

  She looks down and lets the tears fall. "They said they just wanted us to feel safe again... They both said they were not letting me and KK go through this without a damn army behind us."

  I wrap my arm around her shoulders. "You have an army now. One day at a time."

  That's when the front door opens, and KK comes running out with my mama right behind her. "Mommy!"

  Dani carefully drops to her knees. "Hey baby, hey, I missed you so much."

  KK throws herself into Dani's arms and doesn't let go. Dani hugs her back like she's trying to hold her whole world together with just that embrace. It's the first time I see Dani cry from relief.

  When she finally stands, her body wobbles. I catch her. "Easy. I got you."

  "Thank you."

  Inside, the house is spotless. My moms have cleaned, lit candles, made dinner. I help Dani to the couch, settle her with pillows and a blanket. She tries to wave it off, say she doesn't need the fuss, but the way her body relaxes once she sits tells me otherwise.

  I pull my moms aside in the kitchen. "Hey, I've got a huge favor to ask."

  My mom smiles. "Anything."

  "In the trunk of my car, there are Christmas gifts for KK and Dani. I meant to wrap them days ago but..."

  "You want us to wrap them for you?" my mama asks.

  "If it's not too much trouble."

  "Of course not," Mom says. "Go be with your girls. We've got it."

  I nod. "Thank you."

  I bring KK her coloring books and she climbs up next to Dani, snuggling close. I fix plates and we eat together. Even after dinner, KK doesn't move. When I stand to take the dishes, Dani reaches out.

  "Stay, please."

  So I do. I sit back down with them, just soaking it in. The room is warm, and for a few quiet moments, everything feels like it might be okay again.

  Eventually, KK falls asleep on Dani's arm. Not long after, Dani drifts off too.

  I clean up, carry KK to bed, brush her hair from her forehead. I turn on the little night light she likes, the one that casts stars on the ceiling. She shifts once, curls into her pillow, and is still.

  When I get back, Dani is still curled up asleep on the couch. I pull the blanket higher over her shoulders and sit beside her.

  Her eyes flutter open. "Where...?"

  "You're home," I say.

  She blinks, unsure. "Doesn't feel like it yet."

  "It will. Takes time."

  Dani looks around. "I'm scared."

  "I know." I brush the hair from her face. "But you're not alone. You're safe now."

  She whispers, "I don't know what I'm going to do."

  "You don't have to know yet. Whatever you decide... I'm here."

  Tears come again, quiet. Dani turns into the pillow. I don't say anything. Just stay by her.

  After a while, I help her up. "Let's get you in your bed."

  "I'm fine here."

  "Your bed's better."

  When she starts to stumble up the stairs, I lift her into my arms and carry her the rest of the way. I lay her down, pull the covers over her.

  "Thank you," she whispers.

  "Sleep," I say. "I'm right here." She nods.

  Later, I try to sleep in the guest room. Can't.

  Around 2 a.m., I hear soft steps. Dani. She doesn't see me. She stands in KK's doorway, then kneels by the bed. Just sits there in the dark. Silent. Breathing.

  She reaches up and gently smooths KK's hair, her fingers trembling. Her shoulders are shaking, but no sound comes out. I stand in the hallway, frozen.

  When she turns and sees me, I open my arms. She walks straight into them.We don't speak. We don't need to. I hold her, and she holds on back.

That's enough for now.