First Crush, My Forever

Chapter 88

  I push off the door, head upstairs, and hop straight into the shower. The water is hot and steamy, but it does nothing to calm me down. My mind won't stop racing. I run through every detail... my moms distracting Dani, me slipping the letter into her stack, watching her read it, waiting for her to look up. I can already picture her face, already feeling the weight of the ring in my pocket.

  By the time I dry off and throw on sweats, my stomach's in knots. I sit on the edge of the bed with my phone and fire off a quick text to Dani.

  "Hey baby, I'll pick KK up this afternoon. That way you can just come straight home after work."

  It only takes Dani a minute to respond.

  "You're perfect. Thank you. I love you."

  My chest squeezes as I reply. "I love you too."

  A second later another text pops up from Dani.

  "Seriously, thank you for making my life easier. I don't say it enough, but you're everything I ever prayed for."

  I sit there frozen, thumb hovering over the screen, heart cracking open. Those words undo me. I read them again and again, like they're stitched into my skin. Tears blur my eyes. I wipe them away quickly, and put my phone in my pocket.

  She has no idea how much she means to me. None. And today, she's going to find out

  It's time.

  I go to the home office, grab my laptop, and walk downstairs to the dining room. I slide my laptop onto the table, and crack my knuckles like that'll help steady me. I sit down, laptop open, fingers frozen over the keys for a long minute. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears. This isn't just writing. This is everything... our entire story, my whole heart on paper. Dani deserves to know all of it.

  I take a breath and start typing.

  Dani,

  There are moments that rearrange everything. You don't always notice them in real time, but when you look back, you can see how they split your life in two, before and after.

  For me, that moment was the first time I met you.

  I didn't know it then, but my first day meeting you changed my life. Something about you stuck with me immediately. You were warm and strong and so beautiful that it almost scared me to look straight at you. I swear the whole world shifted when I did. You had this soft smile, tired eyes, and the kind of beauty that stole my breath before I could even process it. Then the second time, when I began babysitting, thanks to my mama, you opened the door and trusted me with KK, and even though I was just a teen with a babysitting job, something about you felt... important.

  Then I met KK, this tiny, fearless little girl who later on called me "TayTay" and now Mama T. She laid in my lap like she'd known me forever, and my heart wrapped around her that very day. I remember her warm little hand in mine, the smell of apples in her hair, the way she looked up at me and smiled and when she would just babble sounds. It broke something open in me I didn't know was there.

  From the beginning, you and KK felt like home.

  I thought babysitting for you was just a job. It didn't take long for me to realize it wasn't. I loved every single time I got to be there, even when it was just reading KK the same story five times in a row. Even when life was messy. Especially then. I loved watching the way you loved her, the way you worked yourself to exhaustion for her. I loved how strong you were, even when you didn't feel it. You loved KK so fiercely, even when you were running on empty, and I think that's when I first fell in love with you, even if I didn't have the courage to name it.