winter

22 6 4
                                        

Everything feels heavier
when the weather turns cold-
my chest tight,
my throat aching,
my mind tired.

But winter is also a cover,
a quiet excuse.
I can hide under blankets
and let the tears fall,
and no one will ask,
because shivering
looks the same as crying.

I try reaching out-
"how was your day?"
"want to get coffee?"-
hoping someone will notice.
But they don't.
Maybe I'm too quiet.
Maybe I learned not to say
how bad it really is.

So I stay in the cold,
letting it numb me.
I don't care if I get sick,
don't care if it hurts.
Some days just staying alive
is all I can focus on,
and everything else
falls away.

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