out of place

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I wake up heavy, like the weight of the world
Pressing down on my chest.
People talk, I try to speak-
But my words come out wrong, too sharp, too weak.

They laugh, I smile-late, forced, wrong,
Like I'm out of sync, always off course.
I stand outside the circle's glow,
Hands in pockets, nowhere to go.

I care too much, or not at all,
Too weak to climb, too scared to fall.
I joke too dark, my voice too small,
They nod, but they don't hear at all.

I watch them live, like it's easy to be,
While I'm stuck inside the mess of me.
Anxiety grips, I try to fight,
But I'm the villain in my own mind's night.

I know I'm different-wrong, misplaced,
A puzzle piece in the wrong damn space.
And maybe if I fade away,
They wouldn't notice anyway.

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