selfish

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They call me selfish
like it's something ugly
like it should shame me

but no one asks
how it started

it didn't come out of nowhere
it grew slowly
each time I gave too much
each time I was forgotten
right after being needed

I remember
being there for everyone
being soft
being easy to reach

and I remember
how easily they left

like I didn't matter
like I didn't feel

so I changed

I started holding back
I started saying no
without explaining myself

and suddenly
I became the problem

selfish
cold
too much

funny
how people only love you
when you're giving

now they look at me
like I'm hard to deal with

they don't see
that I learned it from them

maybe I am the bad one now
in their stories

but at least
I'm not losing myself anymore

at least
I'm still here

even if that means
being alone

with a heart
I finally kept safe.

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