OTM
My head was not only pounding, but racing. I had a million thoughts a minute and the terrible hangover I had was only making things worse.
Getting in an Uber in my clothes from last night and my hair all over the place felt like a humiliation ritual. It felt like 'I just had sex and I'm in an Uber this early in the morning because I regretted it' was plastered on my forehead.
The second I got home, I got straight in the shower and then back to bed for a couple hours because I still had a long day ahead of me.
After my four hour alarm went off, I got up and already felt way better than I did before. I noticed Bey hadn't texted me but I couldn't expect much from her since I left without saying anything.
I felt like I had to leave, I wasn't ready for whatever conversation. I had the tendency to leave when things got hard and I wasn't sure what I would've even said if I stayed.
In the past, she probably would've woken me up with kisses and ordered me breakfast... but things were different now that we were divorced. I had no clue how she would've acted, and I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to either. The situation was just too complicated, leaving seemed like the best option.
I was stressed just thinking about it. The whole thing was just too impulsive and I was mad at myself for not thinking it through completely. Sex wasn't something we should've just jumped into, especially with a kid to think about, even if it felt amazing.
The drunk flashbacks couldn't stop playing in my head. I could still feel her in and on me.
By the time I actually got out of bed, it was already past noon so I got up and went straight to the kitchen. Beys mom asked me to make a couple sides and I obviously agreed. She was making the main part of the meal because Thanksgiving was her thing, but I was going to make mashed potatoes, cornbread, and I just got promoted to making the salad too. That was about as much as I could do at once before I started to go crazy.
I ignored my texts from Lauren and everybody else while I cooked. I felt like I was in hiding, but that was probably just shame.
The only person I actually did answer, was Carter. He FaceTimed me to ask me when I was coming over and let me know he was having fun with Tina's husband, Richard.
I was glad to hear from him but it was just another reminder that I should've thought last night through.
It didn't take long for me to finish making everything I was making since none of it was complicated and then I went to start getting ready.
I didn't want to do too much and give the idea that I was dressing for Bey for the second night in a row, so I just wore a slightly cropped brown sweater with wide sleeves and slightly bootcut jeans. I put on brown heels because they went with the outfit but with the way they made my feet hurt, I knew I couldn't keep them on all night.
I took my time finishing up getting ready because we didn't start eating until actual dinner time and then packed everything in my car. Tina lived well over a half hour away so I had a long time for my nerves to go crazy.
Unfortunately, Lauren had her only family to celebrate Thanksgiving with so I was on my own. Plus, the silence from still not having a text from Bey was only getting louder as the day continued.
I wasn't sure if she was going to be mad I left, or if she regretted what we did, or if she was just being cautious. She could've been thinking anything.
I thanked God when I pulled up to her mom's house and I didn't see her car. It would at least give me a minute to get comfortable before having to see her.
