BK
I hated couples therapy. It's the same shit every week with no progress as soon as we walk out of the office.
We bother want change but neither of us want to work for it.
I can admit I'm not perfect. I don't listen to some of the stuff the therapist says because I can't do anything without being the villain. But we both have things that were working on, mostly her.
I was quite literally knocked out of my thoughts by being hit in the side of my head. "See?! She doesn't listen to shit!"
I rubbed the side of my face and side eyed Lauren, I can't believe she dragged me out of my daydreams like that. "Weren't we just talking about how you can't keep your hands to yourself last week?"
She ignored me and looked at Dr.Jackson, the therapist. "I was in the middle of talking about how you didn't listen to me and you're dozing off, are you serious?"
"I'm sorry, I'm listening. You know my attention span is short."
She rolled her eyes. "So like I was saying, I don't feel heard. Ever since the relationship ended, it feels like we've only talked about what I did. I wasn't fucking her, I didn't appreciate what she did, whatever. But she never wants to talk about why I was the way I was."
We're divorced but giving our relationship a second try. I cheated on her with my best friend at the lowest point in our relationship and out relationship was unfixable after that.
I don't have an excuse for why I cheated but I was getting what I couldn't get from Lauren from somebody who was willing to give it to me.
She's still my best friend, that's one of our biggest isssues. The cheating only happened one time and wasn't habitual, I wasn't going to drop her because of a one time thing. Especially since I see her almost every day, we work in the same office.
Dr.Jackson tilted her head. "Why would you say you are?"
"She's never at home, she's not nice to-"
I had to interrupt. "Now you know that's a lie." I'm a lot of things but I'm not mean to her. I let her run over me if anything.
"When was the last time you actually did something nice for me? Or just showed me you loved me?"
"When I bought you that car." Last month. She's so quick to forget when it's convenient.
Dr.Jackson took a deep breath and clasped her hands together. "Okay, being defensive like this and going back and forth isn't helpful at all." She glanced at her watch. "We're just about out of time so let's focus on some solutions. Lauren, you say she's never at home. What could she do to fix that?"
"She could-"
I had to interrupt again even though it made Lauren scoff. "I'm sorry, this is ridiculous. She already said that months ago and two and a half days out of my week are already completely dedicated to her. I have a life outside of her and I have a job so I'm sorry but no."
"I respect that you're making your own boundaries. Lauren, I agree that it wouldn't be fair to make her give up any more of her time. How about instead of more time, you make the time you have more special? Go on dates, talk to each other, just show you appreciate each other."
She says the same shit every week. I looked down at my own watch too and saw that we were going over our time. "Got it. Same time next week?"
She nodded. "Of course."
I stood up and held my hand out for Lauren to take. "Have a good rest of your day."
Lauren room my hand and stood up. "Thank you doctor."
