Hopeless Devotion ~ A Jasper Hale Story

Chapter Seventeen - Waking up

Wednesday, September 13th

The fire was everywhere.

There was no escaping it, no separating from it, no room for anything except the agony consuming every inch of me from the inside out. It burned through my veins in violent waves, spreading deeper and deeper until it felt like my entire body had been remade into something molten and unbearable.

It was worse than labor. Worse than the hemorrhage. Worse than anything I could have imagined when Carlisle pushed the venom into my heart.

And somehow, impossibly, I couldn't move.

The morphine blurred the sharpest edges just enough to keep the pain from tearing me from tearing myself apart completely, but it trapped me too—locked inside my own body while the transformation consumed me piece by piece. I could feel everything. Hear everything. I just couldn't react.

At first, time stopped making sense. The fire swallowed hours whole, leaving nothing except scattered moments drifting through the agony.

Voices. Movement. Hands adjusting my clothes, and cloth wiping my burning skin.

Carlisle spoke in the calm, steady tone he always used when things were dangerous enough to matter.

Esme's softer voice was somewhere farther away.

And Jasper.

Always Jasper.

Even when the fire drowned out everything else, I could still find him. Sometimes he spoke to me quietly, even knowing I couldn't answer. Sometimes he just held my hand in silence. Sometimes the emotions rolling off him were so strong they cut through the pain more sharply than sound ever could.

Fear.

Relief.

Hope.

Love so overwhelming it almost hurt worse than the venom. At some point, another voice joined the house again.

Bella.

I recognized her immediately despite the changes. Her voice sounded clearer now, smoother somehow—newborn sharpness layered over something familiar. That meant she'd already woken up. The thought settled strangely clearly through the fire.

Bella woke first. So it would be my turn soon. After that realization, I became aware of my heartbeat. Not because I could feel it weakening anymore. More so because it was speeding up.

Faster.
Harder.
Frantic.

The fire centered itself around my chest, tightening viciously with every uneven beat.

I heard Carlisle shift nearby immediately.

"Jasper."

His voice stayed calm, but I heard the alertness underneath it.

Jasper was beside me instantly. "What's happening?"

"The heart's accelerating."

I focused on the sound instinctively.

On him.

Another violent beat shook through me.

Then another.

Then—

Nothing.

Silence.

The fire vanished so suddenly it almost felt violent itself.

The absence of pain hit harder than the agony ever had.

For one impossible second, the entire world held perfectly still.