He's dead. Lucas is dead and it's all my fault. My mother is dead and it's all my fault. Michael is dead and it's all my fault. So many people are dead because of me. I killed them, not physically, but mentally. I deserved to die, not them.
I kept seeing their faces everywhere I turned. I couldn't take it anymore. I just sat down and started to cry. That's all I can do. Nothing more. I kept hearing someone call my name. I didn't want to answer. I wanted to be left here to die. Alone. All alone. My worst fear come true. Being alone with no one to help me. No one to save me.
"Haven, get up already." I decided to open my eyes. When I did, I was in a white room, dressed in a hospital gown, with machines hooked up on me. Dream. It was all just a dream. I tried to talk but my voice was horse. I looked at the person who woke me up. At first, I thought it was Lucas, but a second look and it was just Anthony.
"An-an-" I couldn't finish. My throat was dry. Anthony ran to the bedside table and got me a glass of water.
"Here drink this." I took the cup and drank, handing it back to him.
"More." Anthony laughed as he gave me another cup. After three cups of water, I was able to talk.
"What happened?" My voice still crack but I was able to get more then one word out now.
"Figures you'd forget. When Lucas went down, you had a minor heart failure. You've been sleeping for two days now. Everyone's worried sick." I remembered Lucas and started to cry. Anthony came around and started to dry the tears.
"Don't worry, everyone knows you fine."
"No Anthony, Lucas is dead and probably even Angelo!" Anthony's eyes went gray confirming what I already knew.
"You're wrong." I looked at him, shocked.
"What?"
"They aren't dead. Angelo is in the room next to you, awake and worrying over you and Lucas is, well, in the bed over there." He pointed to the other side of the room where the curtain was drawn. I wanted to get up and hug him. He was alive! Him and Angelo! That's all that mattered.
"Lucas! You're okay!" I shouted but didn't get a reply. I turned back to Anthony.
"Tell me he's asleep." Anthony looked down.
"Tell me!"
"He's not dead, Haven! He's just in a coma." My heart stopped for a moment. A coma?
"Why?" My voice crack again.
"Lost too much blood. He's going to be okay, just needs some time." I grabbed Anthony by the shirt.
"How much time?!"
"Like a while." And I knew what he meant. The doctors didn't know when he'd wake up. They didn't even know if he would wake up. I lay-ed back on the bed and started to cry. Anthony got up, kissed my fore head and left. I must have fallen asleep while crying. When I opened my eyes, it seemed like night time. James was in the room, looking at me.
"James?" He stood up and ran to me, hugging me tight.
"I didn't believe them! I had to see it with my own eyes. It's true!" Someone lost it.
"What's true?" He pulled me into his arms.
"You're alive!" I smiled at how happy he was to be saying that. It was cute. The smile almost made me forget about everything he did to me. Almost.
"What are you doing here, silly?" He laughed at my reference to our old nicknames.
"Visiting my weirdo. I thought she was dead. Glad I was wrong." I laughed and looked at the clock. It was one in the morning.
"James you have school tomorrow. Why are you here?"
"Like I ever went to classes anyways. I wanted to stay with you." I smiled and moved over giving him space to sit beside me.
"James,"
"Hm,"
"Do you think he'll wake up?" James looked at me.
"Yeah I know he will."
"How do you have so much faith?"
"Because if he was dead he'd be haunting my ass off right now at the fact that I'm in the bed with you and be mad at himself because he can't come beat me up. So, he'll want to wake up." I laughed at James being James.
"He loves you, Haven. And I know that if it was me, I'd wake up. Even if it was just for a moment. Seeing your face as the last thing I ever see would be my perfect way to die. And I know he feels the same way. He'll wake up. I promise." I put my head on his shoulder. It felt nice to have James in my life as a friend. He understood me and respected the fact that we weren't together anymore.
"I still love you, Haven."
"I know, and I love you too, just not in the way I did before."
"I'll take what I can get." And like that, I fell asleep in my ex-boyfriends arms, and slept peacefully.
"Why is that pussy holding you?" I turned around to see Lucas. We were in a completely white room. I ran over and hugged him.
"Is it really you?" He laughed and hugged me back.
"Yeah it is. Now answer my question." I looked at him.
"Someone's in a coma and can't comfort me so he stepped up." I teased.
"Ha ha, make sure this is only temporary." We sat on the white floor and cuddle in silence.
"You'll wake up right?" I asked as Lucas played with my hair.
"Of course I need to beat the living shit out of pussy head over there."
"I mean it Lucas. You'll wake up right?" He held my chin in his arms.
"For you, I'd walk on glass. But since you just want me to wake up that's all I'm going to do."
"Really?" I asked, getting too excited.
"Yeah really, but let me sleep for a bit. I'll wake up but not soon. I can't promise that to you, okay?" I looked into his eyes, tears coming and blurring my vision.
"I'll take what I can get." I said, quoting James' words. Lucas smiled and leaned in to kiss me. The dream ended with that. Me kissing Lucas. Once I was fully awake, my hands went straight to my lips. I knew it was just a dream, but it felt so real. I looked at James, who was sleeping soundlessly, arms wrapped around me. Lucas was going to wake up. He promised he would. Just not as soon as I hoped.
A/N: So I felt bad about leaving you guys on such a cliff hanger and because I didn't upload as fast as I should have on chapter 21, I decided to make up for it with this chapter. I hope you liked the James and Haven scene. I loved writing it. Tell me what you thought of the dream guys. Do you think it was just a dream, or do you believe it was Lucas' soul? And please don't forget to vote! Love you all! <3
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Dirty Little Secrets
Teen Fiction"Anyways, so did you hear about him Haven?" I was lost. hear about who? i shook my head. Now, I was engaged in the conversation. "Lucas Matthews? The new guy that is so cute. Man, I'd like to do him." Anthony cleared his throat. Did she not care th...
