Silent Attention [COMPLETED]

23. Fun for me

Having the security system installed was a dream come true.  I had it set up with a master code to always be able to access her account.  I could turn on her camera's while she was at home and watch her.  Watch her cook, watch her watch t.v., watch her sleep.  I could watch her dress and shower, but I wanted her to want me watch those things.  I wanted to be there in person, to admire her striking body.  I know, I'm not the usual "stalker" but then again, someone with money can just buy whatever they want.  Every person has their price, even Gemma.  But I don't want her to see me as someone who bought her.

It's been a few days since I have talked to her.  I have watched her get ready for work.  She is not a morning person.  I wish these cameras audio.  That is something I would have to bring up to one of the tech analysists.  I might not be able to read lips, but I knew what came out of her mouth that morning she stumbled and nearly broke her neck on the rug.

The excitement of my new in with her life has started to wean.  I had her pulled up on my big screen as I lay in bed.  She was the most interesting creature.  Okay, I lied.  The excitement wasn't weaning, it just wasn't staunching my addiction to her.  Right now, she was sitting on her couch, in a baggy shirt and panties.  Her long legs stretched out over her couch.  The camera pointed down at her, I had god's view.  I picked up my phone and text her.

"Nervous about Friday?"  I watched her on the screen.  She moved to pick up her phone off the coffee table.  Her face was bent down and I couldn't see her reaction.  Well this was disappointing.  My phone buzzed.

"There's nothing to be nervous about."

I raised my eyebrow at my phone, then grinned at it.  "Confidence is highly attractive to me."

"Can't be nervous if I don't go."

If she doesn't go, I don't know what I will do.  I want to see her again, but she can't remember my face.  I don't want to drug her, but I am not above it.  "So you are nervous about seeing me..."  I hit send and watched her on the screen.  I watched her smile and shake her head before looking at her phone.  I watched her slender fingers move over the screen of her phone, cradling it, her lifeline to me. 

"Cockiness is also highly attractive A."

"I can show you cockiness."  I watched her shoulders move as she chuckled.

"As much fun as that sounds, I think you should keep your cock to yourself."

"But it's soo fun to share."  I wish it wasn't so dark in her living room.  I wonder if she was a blusher. 

"Why do you want to hang out with me so bad?  I told you I can't do a relationship right now."

I must have struck a nerve, pushed too far.  "You seem like you could use some fun in your life right now."

I could tell she scoffed at her screen.  "You think you are fun for me?"

"I know I am.  I will see you at the club Friday night.  I will send a driver to pick you up if need to be."  I watched her bite her lip, contemplating what to say next.  This beats wondering what she is doing while I wait on a reply any day.

"I still don't know what you look like.  How will I know it's you and not some other dork?"

So I'm a dork now eh?  "You won't.  But I know who you are."

"Fine, I'll go, but only to see what you really look like."

"Is that the only reason?"  I need her to be more interested in me.

"I guess you will have to come to find out."

"Good night Gemma."

"Night."

I watched her set down her phone and finished watching her show.  It was now almost ten and I watched her move room to room as she made her way to bed.  I watched her brush her teeth, watched her boobs jiggle from the motion. Her gargle, putting her face up towards the hidden camera, then spit.  She moved to her bedroom and my flat screen switched rooms.  Then I lay in bed and watched her, toss and turn for a long time.  I wanted nothing more than to be there to comfort her.  To hold her, keep her safe.  After over an hour, she flung the blanket back and went back to bathroom.  She grabbed a bottle and took some prescription pills and swallowed them down.  She went back to bed and I watched her falling asleep. 

I don't know how many times I had to hold myself back that night from running to her.  I didn't know what drugs she had taken, but she was sleeping like a rock.  She didn't move except for the steady rise and fall of her chest.  I wanted to be there for her, but I wanted to be there for my own selfish reasons too.  I wanted her for me.  Flashes of that first night, of her smiling at me after her whole world had crumbled came to the front of my mind.  Whatever this was, she was strong.  She could get through this.