Ranaita

Ch.38

-Issy's P.O.V.-

I'm numb. Madoc and I have been together for two years. He was in love with me. I was in love with him. How could a silly fight break us up? Sure, it wasn't a little fight and we've had many similar ones before, over and over again, but we usually got over them. This time, we ended it.

I don't know what I'll do now. He was a huge part of my life and took up a lot of my time when I wasn't with Ranaita, Kelsey or at Uni. If we don't get back together, I'll have to make arrangements in my life. I can't go to the gym at my usual times on my usual days because Madoc will be there. I'll have to get all of my stuff out of his house somehow and make room for it in my house again and give him back his shit. I'll need to cut out movie nights because Ranaita hardly comes to them anymore with the new boyfriend of hers and I can't go for a morning walk on Tuesdays anymore because Madoc and I will definitely run into each other. I can't go to my favorite clothing store after 3 p.m. on weekdays because that's when Madoc works. Plus, our friend group will be split. Maurie and Madoc won't want to be around me, so, I can't go to most hang out sessions if either are going to be there. This is too much.

It's a good thing that Ranaita is willing to put up with me like this. I'm sure I'm going to whine and bitch all day, but I can't help it. I've just been dumped by my other half. The only man who has been able to make me sincerely happy. The only guy I'll ever truly love has left me.

In all honesty, the only thing I can think of in my new found state of depression, is going home. I don't mean the physical home I have right next door. I mean my heart's home. Madoc.

I told Ranaita that I wanted to go 'home' as soon as we finished breakfast this morning and she rushed me upstairs. Now, here we are, Ranaita at her piano and I at the drums, getting ready to play Home by Michael Buble.

Ranaita started it off and played the chorus before replaying it with both her and my voice. I came in with the beat as we sang together, both emotionaly.

Another summer day 

Has come and gone away 

In Paris and Rome 

But I wanna go home 

Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by 

A million people I 

Still feel all alone 

I just wanna go home 

Oh, I miss you, you know

She misses Liam just as much as I wish Madoc and I were still together. I haven't spent a second without him being mine in the past two years and it feels odd to be 'free' again. Although, I don't see it as free, I see it as trapped by darkness and solitude.

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you 

Each one a line or two 

"I'm fine baby, how are you?" 

Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough 

My words were cold and flat 

And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane 

Another sunny place 

I'm lucky, I know 

But I wanna go home 

Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home 

I'm just too far from where you are