Cameron Dallas Imagines

imagine #24

I cried. I sat there on top on my kitchen island. Crying into my hands. The same hands that used to hold him. The same hands wishing to hold Cameron right now. But I don't let him win. I have two hours to get all my shit and leave. I'm such a mess. I hate this.
I hear the door open. 14 boys walk in I look up. Great, I probably look like I just got ran over.
"What's wrong?" Nash asks. I get off and walk away.
"Ask Cameron" I sniff.
"Do you need help"
"No."
"Let us help"
"No"
"Why not"
"Because. Because I don't feel okay. Because I feel like dying. Because I kinda feel happy but mostly sad. Because I have a fucked up life. Because of my shitty like it ruins the friendships and relationships that are around me. Because I hate feeling sad. Because Cameron meant the world to me. Because I need a drink. Because I don't need sympathy. Because I hate crying. Because I feel that it's easier to cry alone. Because I hate this. Because I have to hours to get all my shit out. Because I got my results back and I have Amyloidosis." I felt relief after everything i just said even the last part.
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I'm definitely doing a part to describe the disease and cams pov