My Book and I

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

" I really won't dare to control me again by your hands! ", I said.

" Ha-ha! You can't do that! I'm you! ", she proudly said. Nakakainis talaga ang konsensya na ito.

I stood up in front of the mirror.

" I can! ", I strongly said.

" You can't my dear self, because you are me and I am you! J ", she said and smile sweetly.

Maaga akong natulog. Gusto ko munang ma-refresh ang aking mind. Napakasama ko at napakamali nang ginawa ko. Now, I realized all that it was really a big mistake ... A big one that I shouldn't and must not do but I'm just human and no one's perfect.

Lahat tayo nagkakamali and we really meant it. Sometimes, mistakes can lead us for two different ways. It's either in a good thing or a bad thing. When we reason out, we just realize one thing that it's the right one but we don't consider other's reaction and feelings about those things or those situations where in to. Ang iniisip lang kasi natin ay tama tayo pero sa iba, mali pala.

Para akong nawala sa sarili nang mahabang panahon. Para akong inumpog sa pader para matauhan.

I should do the right thing by any means. I can do this!

Yuzon Residence @ 7:30 am

I woke up early to prepare myself for this day and onwards. I really need to be me, the good one and not the hell out of me. I prepared myself for an hour then I quickly went downstairs. I have to make sure that starting today, no one's going to block my way. My mom and dad are not yet awake so I went to kitchen to cook for our breakfast. I have to do this, pambawi nang mga oras na nawala ako sa kanila.

I simply cooked fried rice, egg, bacon and hotdog. I prepared the table and the milk.

I looked at the time and it's so early so I think, they're still sleeping. I took a deep breath and sat down to the dining.

" Damn! Can you please listen to me! ", sigaw ng konsensya ko.

Hindi na pwede, hindi na pwede na siya muli ang magkontrol nang katawang ito. Ako ito, sakin at hindi kanya kaya ako dapat ang nag-iisip ng tama at hindi ang idinidikta niya ang dapat kong sundin.

Mga ilang minute rin niya akong kinukulit bago siya sumuko. Dapat lang dahil wala na siyang karapatang diktahan ang isip ko dahil ako na dapat ang komontrol nito.

" Sweetie! "

Agad akong napalingon sa pintuan ng dining namin. I saw there my mom and dad and they already prepared going in the shop. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at agad naman silang lumapit sakin.

" Mom! D-Dad! ", I said with teary eyes.

Kaagad naman akong niyakap ni Mommy and there, napaiyak na ako.

" Mom, I—I just want to say sorry for all those things I caused trouble to this family. "

" I r-r-really don't know what I was doing back then "

" I – I --- "

" Shh --- ", she cut me off at hinimas na lamang niya ang aking likod to calm me down and to say that everything's going to be all right. Napaiyak nalang ako sa balikat niya.

" Sweetie, we understand you okay but just promise us that you won't do that again. We missed the old Ally ", Mom said.

Napabitaw ako sa pagkakayakap niya at hinarap si Mom. Imbes na sumagot ako ay napatango nalang ako. I swear ... she's really the best mom in the universe. I love her very much.

Napatingin ako kay Dad na kanina pa nakikinig at tinitingnan kami. I walked closer to him and face him crying. Well, I have to suffer because it's my entire fault anyway.

" Dad, I'm ... I'm sorry ", yun lang ang nasabi ko at napayuko na ako. Later on, naramdaman ko nalang ang kamay niya sa right shoulder ko.

" I'm very happy because your dream came true. What you want is you can have it. I thought that everything's under control but ... I was wrong and got mad at you. ... ", Dad said. Hindi ko na napigilan pang umiyak ng todo dahil minsan lang mag-sermon si Daddy and this is the time I have to absorb on it I really need it.

Hindi ko na napigilan pa at napayakap na ako sa kanya. I just miss him a lot.

" Shh – Al, I know right now you're doing the right thing. Just stick to that okay. Always remember that whatever happens, we are so proud of you and always here for you sweetie "

Southville High

Kahit papa'no ay naging masaya ang breakfast namin. Okay na kaming tatlo pero sa kapatid ko ay parang hindi pa. Hindi siya nakisabay samin at nauna nang pumasok sa school. I feel sad about it but it's really my fault why he's acting like that. I accepted it and I know na ako rin ang magiging dahilan para maging maayos ang lahat. All I need is to be myself and be good.

Before I left the house, I looked at myself in the mirror twice. Kung noon ay sobra akong maglagay ng make up, ngayon ay lipstick na lang. Dati sobrang sosyal ang mga suot kong damit ngayon simple lang. Ang laging naka-salon na buhok ko ngayon ay tinali ko na ito.

Alam ko naman na sobrang kahihiyan ang inabot ko sa campus lately pero naisip ko, kapag hindi ko sila hinarap para akong taong tago nang tago. Alam ko kasing hindi ko matatakasan ang problema kaya better na harapin ko nalang ito, harapin sila. Total naman ay kasalan ko rin kung bakit ganito ang nangyari.

Oo, natatakot ako sa kahahantungan nang mangyayari ngayong araw pero handa kong harapin iyon para sa sarili ko. I'm hoping na maaayos ko pa ang lahat.

Is this really the ending of being a popular student here in Southville High or a beginning being a real student in campus?!

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