Letters Not Sent, Voices Not Heard {A One Direction Fan Fiction}

Chapter 28 ~ He's Talking . . . To The Moon

July 2013

Niall’s P.O.V.

July. 20.  Bailey.

Bailey was turning 20 this month. Needless to say, I hadn’t sent any letters, hadn’t called, nothing. I’d received the same behavior from her. We’d been friends for almost 15 years, and it was all gone in a matter of one hour; and now here we were 7 months later and I was about to go insane.

It’d been a straight week since I’d last slept. I’d been drinking coffee all night long, a Starbucks latte with a triple shot espresso in the mornings and I was going OK. I couldn’t sleep. When I slept, it never lasted long and it was a nightmare within a nightmare.

Interviews were like a torture. I hardly said a word, only speaking when spoken to directly. Concerts were worse. I hardly smiled, hardly moved from one spot. I was singing my heart out for the fans so I wouldn’t disappoint them. I just wanted every concert to be done as quickly as possible so I could eat and go to my room and just stare out the window at the moon, wondering what Bailey was doing.

Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing was fine. Nothing was making me better. Time wasn’t helping me any. Everyone always says that time is what our hearts need to heal. But time wasn’t doing anything to heal me. Time, if anything, was making me hurt more. There was also one big problem with time: it runs out. That’s why I was alone now. My time for being honest with Bailey was gone. My time of being her best friend had vanished. My time of being happy was up.

Management was forcing me to tweet because they wanted our fans to stay engaged with what we were doing. I didn’t see the point. Most of them followed Harry anyway. Some days I didn’t do it, so they had someone go on for me. It was obvious it wasn’t me tweeting, but I didn’t even care. I hadn’t cared about anything but Bailey since she’d left.

Tonight, it was raining as I stared out the hotel window. The rain was soothing, the sound of the drops pounding on the window and roof was calming. It almost made everything seem OK again.

Half a world away, Bailey was at work. Probably taking pictures of a model and flirting with the assistant bringing her coffee. She’d get his number later and they’d go out to dinner. Then they’d begin dating. He’d propose in a few years and I wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. Then I’d hear she was going to have a baby. And I wouldn’t be a part of any of it.

I was getting ahead of myself. This wasn’t actually possible was it? Had Bailey moved on, found another best friend in New York? Did she really not care about me…at all?

All of the elements, the rain, Bailey, thinking, it all made me drowsy, and I couldn’t stop myself from crawling into bed and falling asleep. It was probably the worse sleep I’d ever gotten.

First of all, I couldn’t get to sleep. I tossed and turned for the longest time, trying to get comfortable and fall asleep. Then, once I fell asleep, I couldn’t stay there. I kept waking up , jolting awake after a horrific beginning to a dream, but finally, I fell into a steady sleep and for the first time, I didn’t have a nightmare.

It began in my house in Mullingar. I walked outside into the bright sunlight that was bouncing off window panes and almost blinding me. I looked across the street where Bailey was reading in her front yard. What was she doing back here?

“Bailey!” I yelled at her as I ran. “You’re back!”

“Back?” she asked as I hugged her tightly. “I never left.”

“But you went to New York,” I said.

“I didn’t go to New York, Niall,” she said. “I couldn’t leave my Prince Charming like that.” She kissed my lips lightly and tangled our fingers together as she leaned against me while she read.