Unnatural// 5SOS & 1D

Animals// part eight

m.c: Bleed Like I Bleed

Stupid. That's a word I would use to describe myself. Along with; naive, useless, idiotic, ignorant. How could I not put the pieces together? How could I not see what was right in front of me? Lance was right.. I had been so blind, this whole time. I'd kissed the man who murdered my brother, fallen in love with him even. Of all the ridiculous things.

"Hey earth to Lydia." I turned towards Kathy, who has been talking to me on our walk to school. She was eyeing me quizzically. She knew something was wrong. "What happened?" I sighed. I could tell her the truth, at least part of it anyways.

"Michael and I had a fight. I broke up with him." Did I? I made it clear I never wanted to see him again but I wouldn't say I broke up with him exactly. I never said those actual words. But it was over what was between us.. I think.

"Oh.." Kathy was quiet. She was probably thinking of something to say. Something to make me feel better. There wasn't much that she could do though. "I'm sorry. Here I was blabbering on about my life... I'm sorry." She repeated. I shrugged.

"It's fine. I don't really want to talk about it anyways." That made her bite her bottom lip. Just like how I didn't like talking about my brother, I didn't want to talk about my breakup.

"I..." Kathy stopped. She was probably about to ask a question about my breakup or about Michael but stopped herself. She was going to have to choose her sentences carefully. "Are you alright?" I nodded my head slowly.

"I will be. It's just a breakup."

"Oh come on Lydia. It's not just a breakup." Kathy said, touching my arm. She was right. More than she could ever know. Michael and I were compatible. Michael could be himself with me and I felt I could do the same. I wasn't at the level yet where I could talk to him about Jonathan or the bond we shared but I was working up to that. Michael was special and he ruined it. He destroyed my life before he even met me.

"It is. I swear. I'll be fine." I assured her, trying to put some confidence into the words as I looked up at her. She gave me a tight lipped smile and I knew I hadn't been convincing enough. Sighing, I brushed her hand off. "We'll be late for class." I walked a little faster upon hearing the first bell ring and Kathy jogged to catch up with me.

"Please don't shut me out again. I'm your best friend."

"I'm not shutting you out, I'm going to class." I argued, turning away from her. Kathy stopped following me, though I could feel her boring holes into my back. She was worried about me and maybe I was being an asshole but I couldn't help it. I had lost my brother, found out my boyfriend was the murderer and have driven myself crazy with the thought of trying to become a werewolf. It wasn't impossible for a girl to become a shapeshifter but the risks were higher. My life was something I was willing to put on the line though.

----

I have been studying werewolves my entire life. I know all the folklore about them, I've read all the mythological stories about their origins and read old books about how to kill one but becoming a Hunter and being a werewolf were two different things. I didn't want to be a Hunter, I just wanted to kill Michael. And my near empty threat about becoming a werewolf to do it was sounding like a damn good idea.

There were several made up ways on how to become a werewolf, like bathing in the blood of a dead werewolf or eating the dead carcass of one. None of these stories we're factual but I knew one that might be. It was a story my grandpa used to tell me about humans trying to become wolves.

An old Native American story about werewolves was that a human could become one if they drank the water from the paw print of one. I always thought this was a funny story because I could just imagine a bunch of people running around pouring water into paw prints and drinking from it with no results. Part of the story that was missing though, was that you had to do it under a full moon.

"This is a dangerous act though little one." My grandpa had warned. "Drinking from a werewolf paw as a human could cause dire effects."

"Like what grandpa?" He sat aback in his rocking chair, looking off into the distance.

"There are other stories young one of savage werewolves. Wolves that have lost their minds, their humanity. They are reckless and dangerous with a thirst for blood." I had gasped at that but my grandpa only chuckled. "Which is why it's a good thing most people don't know about this legend." I smiled slowly.

"When will I become a werewolf grandpa!" I cried out, jumping into his lap.

"Ah sweetheart I'm sorry but a female werewolf is rare. You might not have the gene." He paused. "But now don't you go running around drinking from werewolf imprints in the mud you hear me?" I laughed as he tickled me, again humored by the thought of people doing that.

"I promise!" I told him. And so far, I had kept that promise. I had nearly no desire to become a werewolf after watching my brother go through the changing the first time when he turned sixteen. I was scared and there was a lot of blood but I was glad I was there when I got older because when I turned sixteen and didn't change, I knew I never wanted to become a werewolf and felt relieved.

Now I was writing a different story. One where I would force myself into the change so I could go after Michael and make him pay for what he did to my family. Did he know how much pain he caused? How much misery? How many nights I didn't go to sleep because I was straining to hear him howl in the night. I didn't want to believe he was gone. I refused to believe actually.

The night my brother died, I didn't hear his chocked screams. I've always been so tuned to him, wolf or human noises, I could always tell if he was in trouble or if he needed help. But that night, I slept almost soundly, that is until the telephone rang.

I think my mom answered, I could hear her in the hallway. I also heard her horrified gasp before slamming the phone into the receiver and rushing down the hall. My door was thrown open. "It's Jonathan." She proclaimed. My parents and I rushed to the hospital. I didn't grab my shoes, I didn't change my clothes. We just jumped in the car and drove.

"What happened?" I asked my mom worriedly as dad sped down the dirt road. My mom was biting her nails, something she did only when she was nervous which wasn't often.

"He was in a fight."

"A human fight or..." Neither of my parents spoke and I knew. I knew that Jonathan could be hanging on between life and death.

When we got to the hospital, we were immediately rushed by nurses, doctors and the guys from Jonathan's pack. The doctors and nurses were trying to assure me and my parents that everything was fine. Besides a kid with a broken leg and an old man on life support, Jonathan was the only other occupant of our small hospital and the doctors and surgeons were working on him diligently.

"Surgeons?" My mom had whispered. The medical gave each other a look, probably wondering if they would tell us why Jonathan needed surgery.

"We're sorry, but your son.. He's been mutilated." I wish they had picked a better word. "The boys said it was a wolf attack." I slowly looked at Ashton. He was the one I trusted the most. He didn't catch my eye. He was staring just beyond everyone else at the doors to the hospital rooms. He was thinking of Jonathan.. So was I.

Nearly an hour later, Jonathan was pronounced dead. My mother cried and kept crying until his funeral and then the waterworks just.. Stopped. Maybe she had run out of tears. Maybe it was too much effort to cry. Whatever the reason, I haven't seen her cry since the funeral. I hadn't even cried at all. My mom was coping better than I was.

With Jonathan gone, I tried to pretend everything was fine, like he would walk through the front door at any minute. But as the days, weeks, months dragged by without that ever happening. I knew it was time to let go of my sill fantasy. Jonathan was dead and there was no getting him back. I could only get revenge.