My Heart Died With This World

Realized Feelings

Vic's P.O.V.

"Take me with you." Kellin whispered. I panicked, pushing him away.

"You wouldn't survive a full day out there!" He grabbed my hand.

"I would with you. I love you." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. It wouldn't bother me if Kellin came with me. I think I would actually enjoy it. He would be my new reason to survive. I couldn't leave him with his father. I grabbed his shoulders.

"You would be leaving behind your family and friends."

"So would you." I shook my head.

"The night we got back, we had a plan to leave. I'm taking my brother out of here."

"What about your parents?" I frowned.

"They're too old. I can't-" My voice cracked. "I can't bring them with me. But they want Mike and I out." Kellin let his fingers brush against my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I lace my fingers with his. A few minutes later and we were walking towards where my parents live. Kellin had his arms wrapped around my waist. I placed my arm around his shoulder. He was important to me. I'd admit that much. I couldn't let him go out there. I could leave him here but then he'd be at the mercy of his dad. That was a big no. He would die if he was out there though. There was so much I had to worry about now. "Who would you miss?"

"I would miss my mom, Gabe, Jesse, and Justin. Jack can go die in a hole now for all I care." I laughed.

"That's harsh."

"He told me to let you die." I titled his head up as we came to a stop in front of the steps. I kissed him as softly as possible. Is it weird that I would rather spend my time kissing him than to actually have sex with him? It makes my stomach do flips. Something hit me.

"Ow." I rubbed my thigh where a rock hit it. I looked up at the porch.

"You two are disgusting." Mike threw a rock up in his hand, catching it, and continuing the cycle. Kellin blushed, removing himself out of my arms. I laughed. He was adorable. "So we leaving tomorrow?" I bit my lip. I could feel Kellin's eyes burning a hole in the side of my face.

"Yeah. Can you give Kellin and I some privacy?" Mike rolled his eyes but thankfully went inside the house.

"You're leaving tomorrow?!" Kellin shouted. I groaned.

"That was the plan." He pushed my shoulder to get me to turn and look at him. He looked hurt.

"You were just going to leave me here?!"

"I was but-" He shoved me back against the house.

"How could you do that?!" I put my hands up defensively.

"It was before anything happened."

"I can't believe you right now."

"Kell, I-"

"Why did you change your mind? It's not like I did anything for you to see potential in me." He continued to rant. I don't know why I changed my mind. I just.....did. Something about Kellin was incredibly contagious. "What's so special about me?" That question made me snap to attention.

"It's because I'm in love with you damn it!" I closed my eyes, covering my mouth. I didn't mean for that to slip out. I've been trying to convince myself that it was an infatuation. Nothing more. I had been lying to myself. To make it easier to leave Kellin behind.

"What?" I opened my eyes, searching Kellin's face. He was shocked. I let my hand fall to my side.

"Nothing." I muttered.

"Don't say that."

"Listen. Be here tomorrow when the sun sets. Bring your mom, brings your friends. I don't really care." I grabbed his shoulders. "I will be leaving with or without you." I'll be more miserable without you. I shook that thought out of my head. Kellin can't be the reason I stay and leave my brother in this hell hole.

"Are we just going to act like you never said that?" He looked at me shyly. I began grinding my teeth together.

"Said what?" I played dumb. I pushed past him, heading into the house. When I looked back to check on Kellin, he was in the same place. "Go home Kellin. I'm sorry." He flashed me a big smile.

"What's there to be sorry about?" He ran up the stairs to crash his lips against mine. He moved back, biting his lip to suppress his smile. "I'll see you tomorrow." I watched him shove his hands in his pocket and start the long walk back to his house. I chuckled. That boy was something else.