Ashton sat outside and enjoyed the sunny day. The sun burned his head but it felt good mainly because he felt good today, Luke was pretending to nap in the living room when Ashton walked past him and left the house. A small part of him didn't trust Ashton yet and he felt like he would run again if he will have the chance so he wanted to see what he will do.
But Ashton just walked to the back yerd and sat outside.
He didn't chose to stay because of what he had with Luke, he stayed because the outside scared him and the desire to die wasn't as strong as it was at first.
He sat on the small stair and let his head fall between his knees, now letting the sun burn the back of his neck.
Luke stood up and walked outside as well. He sat beside Ashton and looked at the sky as well.
"What do you do all day?" Ashton mumbled.
"Usually I'm barely home."
"And you find things to do always?"
"Yes."
"How can you? Isn't it getting boring living forever?"
"Not if you know how to enjoy life."
"Are you saying you're bored?" Luke asked.
"Yes." Ashton lifted his head to look at Luke and his eyes were narrowed from the sun.
Luke placed his palm on the back of Ashton's warm neck and pulled him to a kiss. Ashton kissed back and he felt the urge to do more, to kiss harder and push against Luke. He felt like he wanted more then Luke.
But he held himself back because he didn't knew how to be rough, and he didn't want to take it another level when he was still split about it.
Luke smiled into the kiss when be felt Ashton restraining himself and cut off the kiss.
Ashton licked his lip and swallowed the lump in his throat.
Luke didn't make another move and Ashton didn't either, they both just stared at eachother and Luke was the one to break first.
He leaned to Ashton's jaw line and kissed him, biting lightly here and then. Ashton closed his eyes and fought the urge to pass his hands in Luke's hair.
"Be brave Ashton, do what you feel." Luke mumbled against his skin.
Ashton opened his eyes and hesitated because what he wanted to do was weird to him and he knew he will turned flushed if he will do it.
"Need a push?" Luke pulled away and looked at him.
Ashton shoke his head and slowly climbed on Luke's lap. Luke immediately placed his palms on Ashton's waist and Ashton stared into his blue eyes.
Luke could feel himself already getting turned on and Ashton placed his palms on Luke's shoulders. He leaned to Luke and connected their lips softly, making Luke unable to contain himself.
His hands sneaked under Ashton's shirt and darted over his back. He scratched his back and his nails went down Ashton's back while he deepend the kiss and shoved his tongue into Ashton's mouth.
Luke pulled away after a few mintues and kissed Ashton's shoulder while still letting his hands dart along Ashton's back. Ashton panted and enjoyed Luke's hands on his back, Luke wasn't gentle but the touch still felt good and Ashton shivered when Luke's hands moved closer to his lower back and to his pants.
Luke kissed him again and this time harder, his hands left Ashton's back and tangled in his messy curls. He pulled away the beanie that Ashton found and put in his hair so it won't fall on his eyes and groaned into Ashton's lips.
"Luke." Ashton whispered and Luke placed one of his hands on Ashton's back, holding him while he pushed both of them back and Ashton's back was met with the soft grass.
Luke hovered above him and he started losing control again, the fact that Ashton didn't stop it yet just encouraged him.
One of his hands found the botton Ashton's pants and Ashton tensed. He hated to stop it all the time because he wanted more too but he was insecure and not sure if it was the right thing.
Luke opened the botton and Ashton disconnect their lips. He was a man too and he wanted to act like it mainly because of Luke, who treated him like a boy.
He knew he should be braver because he's not a girl and its not supposed to be a big deal for him.
"I..."
"Don't want to?" Luke stared into his eyes. He was still on top of him and their faces were still close.
"You don't need to prove anything." Luke let himself be sincere.
Ashton didn't knew what to say and Luke pulled away from him completely.
"You shouldn't be proving things to me. I know you're thinking about what I said."
"You're a mind reader too?" Ashton pulled himself to sit and Luke smiled to his words.
"No, but you're terribe in hiding your feelings."
"You shouldn't care what I think, okay? That's something you have to learn when it comes to others too."
"People never agree to have sex from the right reason but at least don't do it because you feel like you have to."
"I just.. I can't decide." Ashton sighed.
"Its not your fault. They raised you like that in the shell."
It was hard for Luke to think on Ashton's best interest because he was dying to fill his desires and he didn't care from reason he will agree. But he knew he will stop him this time and Ashton's hestiation was enough to know it won't go any further.
And Luke was right because from where Ashton came from, sex was forbbiden, they weren't allowed to bring more kids. And Ashton was never around girls or someone he was attracted to, all they did was work and back to their house. There was nothing more.
If someone got pregnant, he was no longer in the shell. That was the rumor but Ashton never saw or heard of any case like that.
"Sex isn't a bad thing and I think it will take me a while to get it out of your head."
