Take The Chance (A Limitless Novel) [Book 1]

Thirty-One

I stood next to Jake's car in the driveway, my body leaning against it as I looked up at the house. The bottom level's lights were on, indicating that he was still awake. Dean's Range Rover was also still parked out the front of the house on the street, so I knew that meant everyone was still inside. I'd only been gone for two hours so I'd expected just as much.

After storming down the street, I'd made my way to a small restaurant I'd seen on my adventures. I'd stayed there for an hour before I sat on the beach for a while. I knew I'd have to come home and face Jake sometime, so I'd made my way home and thirty minutes later I was gathering up the courage to head inside.

I felt slightly silly for storming out the way I had, but I also knew that the way Jake had talked to me wasn't something I was going to put up with. I wasn't stupid enough to think that everyone was always happy constantly, bet there were better ways to talk to people. I didn't need him taking my anger out on me.

I sighed and pushed myself up off Jake's car, knowing that I couldn't stand out here forever because I'd stormed out in a dress. My legs were freezing and I was dying to get into the shower.

I pushed the front door open, happy to find that it was left unlocked. The sound of the boys in the lounge room was the first thing I noticed, all of them talking about something that had happened whilst they were touring America earlier in the year. I took my jacket off and placed my wallet on the table, before closing the front door loud enough that they could hear. The lounge room went completely silent, I waited for a second and wondered what to do. I decided to just head up to my room, let Jake talk to me if he wanted to. I ducked my head as I walked past the archway into the lounge room, starting up the stairs when I heard my name.

"Tilly, wait," Jake's voice came from behind me. I turned around, halfway up the stairs, and found him standing at the bottom with an ashamed look on his face. My stomach turned at the sight of him, enjoying the fact that he was sorry but also feeling bad that everything had spiralled out of control.

"What?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest as he began to walk up the stairs. He stopped on the step bellow mine, making him eye level with me.

"I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I was angry at the pap's for invading our privacy and I took it out on you," he frowned, trying hard to find the right words to say to me. I waited as he struggled to continue, obviously he didn't want to stuff his apology up and make things worse between both of us. "I just don't want them to push you away," he sighed, admitting to something that I hadn't even thought of. I'd thought he would be angry at how the bands image would be affected by photos of me sunbathing, not that he was worried about me.

"What?" I breathed, wanting him to explain it to me. I understood what he was saying; I just wanted to hear him say it for himself.

"Being famous limits the amount of privacy we have, and I just don't want that to push you away from me. I don't want you to leave because your face is plastered on the front cover of every magazine a million times over. Its hard for us to deal with, and I guess I just don't want you to have to deal with it," he explained, his words scrambling together slightly because of how fast he had talked.

A small smiled crept across my face, his adorableness breaking through my madness towards him and turning me to mush again. How could I stay made at him because he was so worried that I was going to leave? I definitely had the tendency to quit when things became to hard, but that didn't mean that I would ever leave him. I couldn't leave him, every fibre in my body wouldn't let me leave him.

"I'm not going anywhere Jake, you just need to watch how you talk to me," I added, making sure he knew it wasn't something I would tolerate. He nodded his head and my smile grew, causing a small smile to twitch at the corners of his lips.

"Next time we have a fight, don't leave," he said quietly, reminding me of how I'd stormed out. I'd never realised how that would affect Jake, but from the look on his face I knew it probably affected him more than he was willing to admit.

"I'm sorry," I frowned, knowing that it was something I was going to have to work on. It was easier for me to leave rather than deal with my problems, so I was going to have to fix that for him.

I stared back into his eyes, enjoying the way the blueness of his eyes seemed to swallow me up whole. I didn't know what this conversation even meant for us, or what we were anymore. It was all too confusing.

"I think that was our first fight," I smiled, hoping that it would be our only fight as well.

"I definitely won," Jake nodded his head, a large smile settling on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and laughed, knowing that it didn't really matter all that much.

"Jake –" I sighed.

"Don't," he cut me off, his blue eyes blazing into mine as the smile fell from his face. "I know exactly what you are going to say." The way he said those words it made a tingle shoot up my back, the thought that he knew me well enough to know what I was going to say; it was just too good to be true.

"I don't want to be just friends, Tilly," the way he said my name making my lower stomach turn to knots. I wanted to agree with him, everything in me knew that we were way past friends anyway. But my brain fought against every other part of me, reminding my heart that I was here for a job. What would happen if Jake was bored of me by next Monday and I had to leave? I didn't want to go home anymore, I knew that this was where I belonged. Taking photos of the band and traveling were what made the job the kind that only came around once, I didn't want to ruin that.

"I don't want to ruin this," I admitted, my voice sounding smaller than I'd ever imagined. "I don't want to leave, Jake," I added, my voice slightly louder and more forceful.

"Who said you had to?" he asked, seeming slightly confused by my train of thought. I sighed and looked down as his feet, before I dared to look back up at his face. His stunningly beautiful face.

"I just – is it a good idea? I mean, I'm your employee," I choked the words out, knowing that his answer would determine how things would turn out between us. I needed reassurance, I needed to know that this wasn't just about him wanting me physically because that wouldn't work with our situation.

"Let's just take it as it comes," Jake shrugged, and I felt stupid for thinking that he would answer any differently.

"I'm going to bed," I said, giving him a small sad smile before I turned away from him. I didn't know why I'd expected him to reply any other way. I wasn't looking for a declaration of his love – because that would probably scare me off – but I was looking for some indicator that he didn't see me as another groupie.

"We have a wedding tomorrow, will you come as my plus one?" he asked as I started up the stairs and moved further away from him. My chest felt numb and I knew that was far worse than the sadness that should have been there.

"Sure," I mumbled, unsure if I would actually make it out of bed tomorrow.

I was thankful for my bedroom, being able to shut my door and end the conversation was everything in that moment. I needed a few hours to come to terms with the fact that Jake wasn't really interested in me, not in the ways I wanted him to be. I needed a few hours to be okay with the fact that friends were all we would ever be, it was now all about my job.

I remembered telling myself that a couple of days earlier and felt stupid. Was I destined to fall into the same traps? In a couple of days would I be in the same position? I couldn't tell, all I knew was that I couldn't be put in this position again. I couldn't handle it.