Swept Away(Everlark)

Ch. 18: Never

***START SONG AND KEEP IT ON REPEAT THE WHOLE CHAPTER.***

It's been a couple weeks, and I have really gotten close to Finn. He actually makes me want to think about having children. I read him stories and sing to him and he and Peeta bake. I'm going to take everyone to the woods today. I'm so excited to introduce this to him.

I get out of bed and put on some warm clothes because it's fall time now. I brush out my mess of tangles in my hair then walk to Finn's room.

"Wake up, Finny." I whisper in his ear. I play with his hair that is exactly like Finnick's. Once he is up, I make him a bowl of cereal. "Thanks, Auntie." He says while eating. I just smile at him. Then I take him upstairs and get him dressed in his new hunting jacket and hunting boots.

Peeta's going to meet us up at the bakery on the way to the woods. Once we reach the bakery, Peeta closes up and joins us. It's nice, to have a family, even under the circumstances.

"I love you, Uncle Peeta and Auntie Kat." Finn says smiling. "We love you too, Finn." I say picking him up in my arms. Peeta just smiles at me. He must know that I am considering children. I mean not for a while, but I am considering it. We aren't even married.

Once we make it to the very beginning of the meadow, I set Finn down and let him play. Peeta plays with him, showing him a dandelion. I can't stop a smile that forms on my lips. How did I get so lucky? I can just imagine doing this someday with my own children.

Peeta leaves Finn to play and sits beside me. "Kat, I love you so much." He says warming my heart. "I love y-" I notice Finn about to eat some berries. I yell no, but too soon they are in his mouth.

Peeta and I run to him, but it's too late. Josh does cpr, but nothing. Tears catch in my eyes. Peeta picks him up and carries him to the hospital.

I run tears streaming down my face. This boy, who I loved like a son, is dead. I hate everything right now, myself more than anyone. I shouldn't have taken him to the woods. I should've taught him about the berries. I just don't know what kind of berries could kill so quick.

Nightlock.

When the doctor tells us the obvious, Peeta breaks down, but I, more than ever, am furious. Why was there nightlock in the woods? I killed yet another living soul. Because of me, Finnick's legacy is over. Because of me a child is dead, and there's more than where he came from. It's all because of me.

The girl who was on fire is burnt out. I've ignited a nation, but I've set everyone on fire in the process. I've burned them, killed them, wonded them, all just to survive. I'm just as evil as Snow or Coin.

I finally look up from the tiles on the emergency room floor. "Peeta, I'm never having children." I say before storming out. I see Peeta's heart break even more if possible.

Another causality in the war against myself.

A/N so yeah... LISTEN TO THE MUSIC OKAY MY HEART IS BROKEN FROM MJP2.