Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse

Tip Number Five

Tip Number Five

                Never grab any items when you are on the run from a zombie inside your house. Only grab one thing, which I will talk to you about in Tip Number Six. I advise you that all you have in your hand while you are running around the house is a handy dandy: Pan! You take that pan and swing it around like a mad woman on Christmas Day when her husband got her a McDonald’s Happy Meal as a present. That will surely take care of it.

                Maybe I’m over exaggerating when I say that, but it’s true! I’d rather have no sad, old memories than end up getting eaten by an undead creeper.

                But before you start crying to yourself about how your life will end without your pink teddy bear you named Pinky that you’ve had since you were born (or is that only me?) I do advise you that when you’re running around in your bedroom you do grab a comfort item that might help you through journey. This will help you from crying like a baby in front of other refugees.

So to round of Tip Number Five…

Since this one was short and sweet, I realized that this might have been in two parts. Also that this tip ended up being contradictory. Anyways, don’t grab anything but a comfort item and the thing that I will discuss in Tip Number Six.