Tip Number Seventeen
Hello everyone! Zombie tips are back and I will upload every Saturday! Sorry, for the wait!
Anyway, today’s tip was brought to me by OreoAssassin. And I advise that you listen carefully to it. WEAR AN EXTRA SET OF PANTS. This will ensure that when a zombie goes to pants you, whether it is on purpose or on accident, you won’t be mortified with shock. You see, the time it takes for you to be shocked, look down, cry a little, and pull your pants up, will be cut in half! You don’t want to be some Undead’s lunch!
Let’s say you heeded my warning and have decided to wear pants. You go outside to get some fresh air and realize that the weather forecast was true. It was raining zombies today. So you whip out your emergency bat that you always had because you knew this day would eventually come and run into a hoard of zombies screaming, “FOR NARNIA!” It just so happens that your fifth grade mortal enemy was stupid enough to be bitten by a zombie and has chosen to make you his morning meal.
Do you let him bully you?
NO!
You immediately rush into to smack that bat against his head numerous times. Although you look pretty tight smashing in his skull, you foolishly forgot that the one thing that bully was the master mind of was pantsing you. While you go in for the 74th smack he skillfully grabs the waist of your sweatpants and pulls them down.
Do you cry like a baby?
NO!
You smile cheekily at the zombie as it stares mortified at you shiny tights that you decided to wear because you had nutcracker practice later on. You blind him with your awesomeness and knock him out in your 75th hit.
Do you cry out in victory?
YES!
So to Round of Tip Number Seventeen…
Shiny underpants are the bomb!
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Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse
HumorEver get caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, but ended up dieing? Well, this guide will most likely not help you survive that unfortunate moment when you will probably die. This humorous guide will have you laughing with each tip and update!
