Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse

Tip Number Eighteen

Tip Number Eighteen

I know you people really hate and that is why I will deprive myself of candy every time I forget to upload on Saturday! That’s the new plan alright? I know its Monday, but what the heck, it doesn’t matter.

Anyway, today’s tip comes from one of my best friend Pamela! She wisely advises everyone to be stupid. Or to not think at all. Now your first thought may be, “Why in the alternate universe is this girl telling me that I should act stupid when I should be planning my Oreo death killing launcher strategy?” But heed my warning; this might be so secretly good that it could save your mother.

Here’s an example:

Little Jimmy Bob from 19 Kids and Counting decides he’s not going to be a good little church boy and hang out with so called, “Death Cannon (soul eater reference) Bikers”. He doesn’t know that those leather wearing bikers are real undead! He encounters them hanging out at the local bar with fake mustaches and realizes that those guys are zombies.

What does Little Jimmy Bob do?

Nothing. That is exactly what he does. He stares numbly out the window that happens to have death unicorn sticker on it.

“Let’s eat him!” One Death Cannon Biker suggests in Zombie Language (That will be the next tip).

His friend with a Hitler mustache says, “Naww, the guy looks stupid. He probably doesn’t even know how to solve a double Pythagorean Theorem question.”

“Yah, you’re right,” The first Death Cannon Biker says, “He probably doesn’t even know who Shakespeare’s first girlfriend was!”

“Whoa, who doesn’t know that?” The third Death Cannon Biker asks surprised.

“He doesn’t!” They chorus together grabbing their death pony eye patches and leave.

Now Jimmy Bob has crushed dreams and feels terribly ridiculed, but he’s still alive. And isn’t that WAY more important than your dignity?

So to Round Off Tip Number Eighteen…

A Dummy’s Guide to Being Stupid, ‘nuff said.