Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse

Tip Number Four

Tip Number Four

                Tip Number Four applies in real life and usually given by annoying adults that you never seem to listen to:

                We never really know if zombies are just acting dumb. Maybe there are smart and we just don’t notice it. But anyway, NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR ADDRESS! I mean, what if the undead are smart and you have told them your address? You could have just come from grocery shopping and your hands are full with shopping bags. You somehow manage to open your apartment door and find an infected John Lennon sitting on your couch waiting to pass on the sickness. He limps over to you and bites you and you can’t get away because of those said shopping bags.

                Or you might have bought a package of only god knows what and expect it to come in five seconds. You hear a non-conspicuous knock come from the door and you run delightedly to go open the door. Instead of finding that pseudonymous package you ordered, you find a hungry looking delivery man with his jaw unattached. Still in shock because you did not receive your package, you are not able to do anything when the zombie attacks you.

                Wouldn’t it be much better if these zombie freaks hadn’t known your address? I sure think so! I don’t want some grimy creeper chomping on my leg meat.

So to round up Tip Number Four…

Never give out your address (Unless it’s the ninja recruiter).