Tip Number Twenty-One
“An Army of Thousands”
Submitted by MusicSavedMySoul
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I know this may seem a bit obvious and also a bit hard to do but it is a simple way to stay alive. Claim yourself leader of your friends and don’t let anyone tell you “No!” because you want to make sure that you are the most prized person in the pack. Then, (I know, oh so simple) build an army of kids willing to do bend to your every will and need and die for you.
IT’S THAT EASY, RIGHT?
I know in my day, I used own like five armies and we would parading around town smashing those zombies to smithereens. I was like, Queen of Zombietopia!
Need help starting your own army? You’ve come to the right (wrong) place because I will lead you through a perfect (defective) plan of attack (failure).
First Step:
Decide who the leader amongst the group is and make sure it is agreed. We don’t want any Lord of the Flies going on around here…
Second Step:
Ration your food. This is probably the most important step because I know a lot of people who go crazy without their Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal around their time of the month.
Third Step:
Make an emergency plan. You don’t want kids running all willy nilly through an epic zombie battle! Be organized! (or at least be as organized as you can in a zombie infested world)
Fourth Step:
Watch out for the little children, we don’t want any stragglers!!!
Fifth Step:
Have a base of stations. A good place to chill would be a school or a hospital where there are tons of rooms and lots of things to use as sadistic killing methods! J
Sixth Step:
Once you have a large, nice sized army (which you will totally get with my help) you can split them up into groups and have them do different tasks!
Wasn’t that just a lovely guide? That’s sure to get at least one set of children through an Undead war. Or at least I hope so…
So to Round Off Tip Number Twenty-One…
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!!!!! Those kids were fast as lightning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse
HumorEver get caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, but ended up dieing? Well, this guide will most likely not help you survive that unfortunate moment when you will probably die. This humorous guide will have you laughing with each tip and update!
