Tip Number Twenty-Two
“There’s a party in my tummy”
Submitted by Captain RyRy
This Tip was submitted by Captain RyRy. Please check out their stories and fan them. You know when that hot new zombie attire comes out at the store and everyone is lined up to get it? Well you don’t want to be in the middle of a crowd when the undead is near. Actually, you don’t want to be anywhere near the urban region when the outbreak comes.
Just Imagine.
You’re in the middle of New York in Times Square about to cross the street. Then you stop because you hear a piercing scream that sounds like a cat birthing a baby. You turn around to witness a crowd of flesh eating high class society women clacking their 5 inch heels to get to your Gucci shaped head.
You know how women are when they want brand names!
They’re ravenous!
(Not that I know from experience…)
So, you try to run away but you are cut off by persistent business men and women coming after you with briefcases and sticky notes. Eventually, you die in the middle of the street because a street vendor lost interest in his hot dogs and found interest in your rosy skin.
That could really spoil your day.
Also when gathering food and survival items it’s not a good idea to be in Super Wal-Mart with 30 soccer moms running for the Hot Cheetos. You might as well give yourself over to the Spanish Bull Run wearing all red. Those moms will mow you down screaming, “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABIES, YOU UNDEAD FIENDS!!!”
So, to Round Off Tip Number Twenty-Two…
Soccer moms are feisty!
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Tips To Survive the Zombie/Undead Apocalypse
HumorEver get caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, but ended up dieing? Well, this guide will most likely not help you survive that unfortunate moment when you will probably die. This humorous guide will have you laughing with each tip and update!
