Everything I'm Not ~ Solangelo

Chapter 30

I stared at the wall, waiting for the voices to return, but they never did. After about twenty minutes of standing there, I finally turned around and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I dialed Will's number and pressed the phone to my ear. 

"Hello?" Will said.

"Hey, Will," I replied. "I want to talk to you about something."

"Go ahead," Will answered. 

Don't tell him, the voices hissed. He won't understand. No one does. 

I ignored them and took a deep breath, "The voices are back."

"What?" Will asked. 

"The voices," I repeated. "They're these little voices in my mind that constantly whisper stuff to me."

Will paused for a moment. "What kind of stuff?" he inquired. 

"Bad stuff. They say that no one cares about me, I'm worthless, everything's my fault. Those kinds of things," I explained. 

We're only telling the truth, one of the voices said. 

"How long have they been there?" Will asked. 

"They first appeared after Bianca died, and stuck around for about a year. I started hearing them again today," I told him. 

"You mean when you were suffering from depression?" Will said. 

"Yes," I responded. 

"I'm coming over right now," Will announced firmly. 

"What?" I cried.

"I'm coming over. This isn't a good sign," Will insisted. "I'll be there in ten minutes." Before I had a chance to protest, Will hung up. 

Less than ten minutes later, the Thunderbird pulled into the driveway and Will hopped out of the driver's seat. He burst into the house and marched to the kitchen. 

"Ever heard of knocking?" I said impatiently as he snatched my arm and hauled my towards the door. 

"No time for knocking," Will said. He pulled me across the yard and sat me down in the passenger's seat. He slid into the front seat and started the car. 

"Where are we going?" I asked as we sped down the street. 

"To see Hazel," Will responded, not taking his eyes off the road. 

My eyes widened, "Will, are you crazy?"

"No, actually I'm possibly the only sane one here!" Will shouted. "Nico, this is bad, really bad. Hazel needs to know about this."

"But isn't she going through enough right now?" I protested. 

"She's your sister, Nico! She must know!" Will retorted. We arrived at the hospital and parked the car. Will and I entered the lobby in silence, and started towards Hazel's room. 

As soon as we entered the gray, baron room, the first thing I noticed was how skinny Hazel was. Even though it had been less than twenty four hours, she had lost a lot of weight. Her face had become gaunt and her body was much bonier. 

"Hazel!" I cried, rushing to her side. 

Hazel slowly turned her head to face me. I noticed that her golden eyes were much emptier. She smiled weakly, "Hello, Nico." 

"Hazel, what happened? You look so thin!" I exclaimed. 

She heaved a sigh, "The surgery weakened me. I'm just weary, that's all." She reached out and took my hand. 

"Are you sure?" I asked. 

Hazel nodded, "I'm fine Nico. The real question is why are you here?"

"I um..." I paused and glanced at Will. He nodded as if to say, Go on, tell her. I returned my attention to Hazel, "I've heard the voices again."

Here eyes widened, suddenly alert, "You what?"

"I heard the voices," I repeated. 

"Oh, Nico, no," she sighed. "You can't do this to yourself, not again."

I squeezed her hand, "I know, I'm trying. It's not easy."

"I know it's hard, but you have to fight. I can't see you do this to yourself. You need to be strong for me," Hazel whispered. 

I met her golden eyes, "I-I'll try."

"You promise?"

She squeezed my hand harder, her eyes pleading for me to say it. "I promise," I answered softly. 

She smiled and released my hand, "I believe in you." She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. I stood there quietly, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. I couldn't give up. I had to fight. I had to fight for Hazel.