Looking for the Light Through the Darkness

Chapter 36: Painful Memories

Point of View: Sang 

I stayed curled up on the couch watching as all of the boys started to arrive at the apartment. After North and Luke arrived, Kota and Nathan followed. Both gave me gentle hugs and asked me okay before taking their seats on the couch. I tried to focus on the conversations going on around me as Dr. Green and Gabriel arrived however, I was soon unable to concentrate and curled up on the couch drawing my knees close to my chest. Everything seemed to be hitting me at once. It seemed as though these boys were working their way into my dangerous life and they were quickly determining all of my secrets. 

"Peanut?" Pulling myself out of my head, I looked toward my left side and felt a hand gently rub my side. I relaxed as Nathan's leather and cyprus scent washed over me. "Everything okay?" His voice had an under tone of worry and I heard the other's voices dim as they waited for my answer. I nodded slightly leaning into his side as he pulled me close. 

"Yeah. Just a little tired." I whispered resting my head against my knees. I really didn't want to be the center of attention at this moment but I knew I would be for there was no other reason to gather everyone in one place. Forcing a breath, I stayed in that position until I heard the clipped steps of Mr. Blackbourne and Victor coming down the stairs. 

"Miss..." There is a pause and I can feel my body tremble as I realize he doesn't actually know my last name. Biting my lip hard, I duck my head down and Nathan's hands rub my sides a bit more "Sang, a couple of hours ago, called Victor from her co-workers phone to come pick her up. They had gotten into a fight and she was quickly brought back here where we were able to discuss what has been going on." Mr. Blackbourne pauses swallowing and I can feel the other's eyes on me. 

"Peanut are you sure you're okay?" Nathan whispers under his breath as Mr. Blackbourne continues to talk, his voice a bit on edge and I just nod wanting to get this over with. 

"-come to our attention that Sang has actually been involved in an undercover mission before, set up by the police department. It seems as though things had gone askew and she became an eye witness to a brutal murder a couple of years ago." Mr. Blackbourne states and instantly the vision of me sitting on the stand flashes into my head. I tense as I recall the scene watching the empty court room and feeling the eyes of that horrible man stare at me with both desire, lust, and pure hate. 

"Sang." The soft voice of Kota's pierces through my memories and I feel hands under my arms lifting me up into his chest. I slowly curl into his chest, as Kota's fingers gently run through my hair brushing it out of the way as I wrap my arms around his neck. "I gotcha." He whispers and moves out of the now silent room and down the hall. 

I stay hidden in Kota's chest just focusing on breathing as Kota moves about the apartment. I hear a door open and then close before I feel a bed under myself. Sitting at the edge of the bed, I carefully let go of Kota and I feel him shift in front of me kneeling down. "You are super pale." He whispers and gently caresses my cheek making me flinch a little. He doesn't withdraw his hand however, and continues to caress my cheek as I take shaky breaths of air. "Do you want to take a moment and rest?" 

Nodding, very slightly, I feel the air shift again and listen as Kota moves about the room before gently slipping his hands into mine and guiding me to the top of they bed. Pulling back the covers, he has me climb in before he climbs onto the other side of the bed. He doesn't get under the covers but stays close keeping me company. 

"I'm sorry.." I whisper curling up a little as Kota's hand rubs my side. 

"You aren't ready to talk about it yet and I am sure you don't want to think about it right now either." He whispers his voice very soft and I nod staying curled up tiredly. "Just sleep." Taking a slow breath, I nod and curl into the covers. 

"Miss. Sorenson please state what you endured to the court." The prosecutor states calmly as I sit in the small box that only has a single chair and a microphone. Trembling I play with my long sleeves as I glance to him. He sits diagonally from me staring at me. 

Taking a shaken breath, I start to describe the scars that he had caused throughout that horrible night. How he dragged a knife across my skin over and over again. I watched the prosecutor hand the jury pictures of my injuries and I looked away feeling tears burn the back of my eyes. 

Trembling, I try and stay calm as the prosecutor moves in front of me blocking him from my sight. "Miss. Sorenson, tell me what happened after he did that to you." I freeze and take a slow breath recalling the memory and look to the jury all of them have pity in their eyes. 

"He had me watch as he..." I swallow hard and tremble hard as I take a breath. "He had me watch as he stabbed one of my friends. He had a small knife on him and started to trace... different designs in her skin and then...." I swallow hard again and the judge looks to me with a painful smile on his lips. 

"Take your time." He states and nods for me to continue. 

"And then he continues to stab her over and over. In the face. In her chest. In her arms..." I tremble as I look up. 

"Sang!" Kota's voice interrupts the dream and I let out a mangled cry as I instantly rush to his voice. His arms wrap around my burning back and I flinch slightly at the pain. He quickly pulls his arms back but I stay tucked into his chest breathing heavily. 

I hear the door bang open and footsteps approach as I tremble hard. "Pookie?" Dr. Green's voice appears as his hand slightly touch my back and I flinch away again the pain still there. 

"Mr. Lee report!" Mr. Blackbourne's voice barks and Kota's hands catch my sides bringing me closer to his chest as I let out sobs. 

"She had fallen asleep and I returned to the meeting and she was crying out in her sleep." Kota states quickly as he leans down and presses his lips carefully against my forehead. I breath out a weak breath and Dr. Green's hands move to my forehead before resting on my chest. 

"Cookie does this happen often?" Dr. Green whispers gently pushing my hair out of my face and my sash slips a little from my eyes. Quickly fixing it, I nod a little before taking slow and calm breaths trying hard to get myself grounded. 

"It will go away soon." I whisper and Kota's arms very gently wrap around me lifting me up into his arms easily. 

"Okay but I am not letting you go." Kota whispers slipping off the bed and carrying me out of the room and back into the living area. 

"Baby?" North's voice is close and I feel his large hands touch my side. 

"N-N-North S-St-Star." I stutter hard and I am carried into the living room and carefully laid down on the couch. Closing my eyes I focus on my breathing trying to keep calm as I tremble hard. Kota's hands gently push my hair away from my face and wraps a blanket around me making me shiver. 

There is a dip in the couch and suddenly I am resting my head against someone's lap. Tears continue to slip down my cheeks as I think of everything that has happened and how nothing seemed to have gone right.