The Blog [cake 5SOS] ✔

[Post #15] [Transient]

Luke

They walk through the door, laden with bags and clothes. Michael bounds up to say hi first but I'm just so fucking nervous that I don't move an inch, as if I'm glued to the carpet. "Luke?" Ashton says, propping his bags against the wall and moving over towards me. "Okay?"

"Y-yeah. Fine. H-how was Scotland?" I ask, lips trembling. My arms are getting a bit cold so I rub them fervently. 

"Great! Calum's family are awesome, they love football almost as much as Calum does, ha," he replied excitedly. 

That should've been me, I think, before mentally slapping myself for even letting that thought cross my mind. "Cool. You guys hungry?"

Calum

We're sat at the table eating pizza when Ashton asks about sleeping arrangements. "So who's sleeping where?" he asks to no one in particular. Luke doesn't look up and carries on eating, somewhat mournfully. I shrug. Michael shrugs too. "Helpful guys. Really." Then he shoots me this look of almost desperation, as if I'm supposed to say something. 

"Urrm okay well why don't I go with Luke in the main bedroom and you guys can share the second one?" I suggest.

Michael grunts. "We should just all sleep together like we always do, why the heck should we split up?" He appears to have a moment of realisation but it disappears as fast as it came. Don't know what that's all about.

Luke nods. "Yeah we could all fit on that bed in the first bedroom, it's pretty big."

Wait what? Surely he should be dying to be alone with me? In confusion I look over at Ashton again who has his head in his hands, and an empty plate in front of him. "Suit yourself guys..."

"Why don't you and Ashton go together, you guys must be tired," Luke mumbles. Don't tell me he's hurt by Ashton going to Scotland with me. Please... "Me and Michael were planning on playing games for a while, we're not tired but I guess you guys are. Don't you guys have jetlag or something?"

Ashton chuckled. "Luke you idiot, Scotland is in the same time zone as London. We're not tired, just a little worn out from all the travelling."

I sigh and stand up. "C'mon Lukey. Let's go to bed. It's eleven already."

He avoids my gaze and sheepishly stands, following me into the room. I look over at Ashton one more time before closing the door on his 'it'll be okay' face. Well, I sure hope so. Michael has this weird smug on his face, now I really don't know what's going on, but I have more important things to worry about.

"What's up Luke?" I ask out of the blue. He jumps on the bed, still not smiling and nestles into the pillow. "Listen Luke, you might be mad that you couldn't come to Scotland-"

"It's not that," he bursts, sitting upright. I see that his eyes are a little clouded up, like a window that had been blown on.

"Then what is it?" I say softly, sitting down on the bed next to his feet. A tear swims out of his eye and I reach my hand out to brush it away. Outside, the other two are messing about with the remaining pizza, probably throwing it on each other's heads or something.

"I... uhh I don't think I can say it, I'm sorry."

"Come on Luke. I'm your best mate. I'd tell you anything." He doesn't stop crying, the tears now coming out in multiples of three. "Cuddle?" He nods and falls on me in a big flop, his tears immediately dampening my shoulder. "Awww Lukey. I'm sorry about whatever's going on. If there's anything I can do, you must tell me, okay?" He nods again and I wrap my arms tightly around him and feel for the first time, what it feels like to be in love.

And it feels fucking amazing.

[Post #15] [Transient]

Sunday 30/9/12 20:18

Dear C.H.,

We've been in London for a couple of days now, and it's been an odd few days. I can't quite put my finger around it but you've been a lot more cuddly as of late and I can't say I don't like it. I guess it started off when you came back, that evening was quite emotional. I cried, not able to say why I felt awful in fear of you knowing everything.

Thing is, I was actually going to say it. I was going to confess right there and then, but some unconscious fear held me back. Something scared me out of telling you and I don't know what it was; you could say I cowered away but I don't think it was that.

We've been doing a lot of management stuff over the past few days and we're still sharing a room. We cuddle at night, we talk for hours on end, it feels like normal again. Except it's not really. Things can't ever go back to what they were a year ago, when we were literally just friends, when I still had a girlfriend, when you and M seemed to be more likely to hook up than anyone else.

Our relationship is moving slowly but it's definitely there, and I won't let the spark die out. I promise I'll try to move forward and be more courageous. I need to, otherwise I don't think I can live anymore.

I know I sound like a sorry kid in love but it's true. You've become everything to me.

I just need to make you mine now. 

First step?

To be honest, I have no idea. I need some help on that one, since my last relationship seemed to just happen. I didn't think much about it but now you're all I think about.

Well, let's leave it for another time.  I've said a lot that I wanted to say, and now I'm tired. Besides, everyone thinks I've died in the toilet since I've been in here so long; so goodbye C. I'll speak to you soon.

Yours,

Penguin <(")

petewentzisbae: no need 2 share everything but aw. dis is gettin cuter by the daaay. pls when u guys finally do it, pls don't share every detail, save my eyes yeh? oh yh and wt the hell is the title mean

A/N: Finally! Sorry it took me so long to update guys. End of term meant going into super relaxo mode so I've literally been lazing around watching tv the past few days :'D 

I'll keep this short bc i need to go eat something lol and i also have a new fanfic in the making :) i know i know, need to finish off older ones first... but this one is just so exciting!

Dedication to Awesome5SOSFluff for adding this story to one of her reading lists :) you might not see this but hope you enjoy it so far and continue to (if you ever read it!) but yeah. Enjoy your virtual copy of this super cool signed edition of the SLSP EP which guess what? has four hidden tracks that have never been released before and never will be! aw u so lucky ;D

Okay guys that's it for today! Thank you for getting this to 1K reads!! It genuinely means so much to me, and a vote means a lot too so please don't forget to tap/click vote before you go :) I don't get anything other than happiness for it and it's like my payment, ahhah ^_^

See you guys soon :)

Kimmy xx