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[Post #26] [Hotel Talk]

Luke

My fingers curl inwards as I approach Calum, who is leaning against a tall pillar in the car park, headphones in, probably listening to the likes of Green Day or All Time Low, whilst Michael and Ashton are still on the tour bus getting ready. We're staying in a hotel tonight, so they're getting some underwear and tomorrow's clothes. It's not usual we get to stay in hotels but we're being treated by 1D for our good work to a four star hotel in Belfast. We've also just played our final show here and we're headed to Dublin tomorrow for two nights at the O2 there.

"Are we sharing?" I ask calmly, though my hands are visibly shaking. I'm telling him tonight, no matter what. I don't care what the outcome is; I'm beyond that; I just want to get it out of my system so I don't have to worry about it any longer.

He looks up for a second then looks down again. "Yeah, if you want to."

I'm a little shocked at how he's acting but he puts his phone away and places a heavy arm around my shoulder. "You not bringing anything?" I ask, looking around to see no suitcase or bag.

"Nah, figured we're tired enough to just head straight to bed."

Shit, he's tired. I bet he wants to sleep, not talk. How am I going to tell him?!

"What's wrong? Your expression just changed..."

I shake my head. "Nothing's wrong. What time is it?"

"It's ten-thirty."

Michael and Ashton come running over with their bags and join us all breathless. "Hey guys! Guess you guys are sharing tonight then?" Michael says excitedly. I nod and he claps his hand. "Come on Ashton. Let's go check in." He grabs Ashton's forearm and drags him towards the elevator, and without waiting for us they head up.

"C'mon, we'd better get going too," I note, getting free of Calum's grasp and walking towards the elevator, but he stops me by pulling on the fabric of my hoodie. "What is it?"

I turn and see that he's looking down again. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

My heartbeat quickens rapidly to the point where I can feel it in my fingertips. "Okay... why don't we... er.. go upstairs and get comfortable, then talk? I don't think there's much talking that can be done in the underground car park." My eyes stay widened as they await his response.

"Sure. Let's go then - I'm tired but I do need to talk to you."

"You're scaring me Calum."

"It's nothing serious - I promise."

[Post #26] [Hotel Talk]

Monday 11/3/13 23:57

Dear C.H.,

Well hello. It's odd, me writing this as soon as we finished talking... but you're fast asleep now and it's safe for me to be typing on my phone as long as I keep the brightness low.

This evening was really weird.

We talked about a whole load of things and we stumbled across the topic of... love.

I didn't exactly get to tell you my feelings but I was so close to, it was literally in front of me but then you changed the subject and it was hard to change back. I know I'm weak and I can't take control of the situation ever, but this time it really was out of my grasp and I'm going to try super hard tomorrow to combat that. We'll be on the bus a good two hours at least tomorrow so hopefully I can get Michael and Ashton out the way and talk to you again.

About love... we discussed girls on tour. We haven't hooked up with anyone yet so we made this pact to refuse a girl, no matter how pretty they were, how they were dressed, how drunk we were - we weren't going to let it happen. You were rather adamant about that so I'm going to try my best, not that I'd want to have sex with anyone else anyway.

You asked what I thought of our relationship. Our 'friendship'. I said I loved to spend time with you and that you were a great friend. You replied with 'is that all?' at which point I began to feel a little bit suspicious but said nothing. After that you began talking about wanting to go partying at some point, and tasting cocktails and seeing new places, as so far we'd stayed within the UK area. We wanted to go to Europe, America, Asia... and we'd be going there soon but we had to wait.

At around 11:45, you complained of fatigue so we settled down. I was about to suggest cuddling but you didn't look like you were in the mood so here I am in bed with the covers over my head just in case you do wake up and wonder what I'm up to. It's getting really hot in here so I'm going to stop.

It's a shame today's mission didn't work out as I'd hoped. I really, really, really want it to work tomorrow and if it doesn't, then I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably get M to tell you since I'm such a douche - I can't even do something as simple as this. Too bad.

Maybe it's better you don't accept my feelings. You deserve better anyway.

Yours,

Penguin <(")

petewentzisbae: dont u go draggin me into this. i want to watch it unfold not be part of the plan

Thanks for reading everyone!

Dedication this chapter goes to...  brisbainemalnes for voting and commenting! Thank you veeeery much and I hope you're enjoying this :) your gift is a virtual unlimited supply of 5SOS concert tickets! Enjoy~

Thanks again everyone for reading and look forward to next weeks chapter where Luke finally confesses... Or is it the other way round?

Kimmy xx