You're Hurting Me From Inside Of My Head- Nathan Sykes vampire fanfic

Chapter 1

Present day

I was sat in Jess' bedroom on her bed. I live with Jess and Karen now because well... I wouldn't say Karen isn't the best person for Jess right now because she's an amazing mother through and through but she's a bit... Distracted. And since I was getting evicted anyway it seemed to solve all of our problems when I moved into the spare room... No one has touched Nathan's room, not even opened the door, it's become a bit of a no man's land. Jess stood next to her second calender, marker in hand. She thought that she would mark off every day he didn't contact us and every day he did with a brief note of what he said so we'd know what to mention when he did come back. That obviously became extremely boring and heartbreaking as time went on since he never did contact us, not once but Jess was determined to carry on even though it made her break down every day. 

Jess and Nathan had this unbreakable bond between them, they were as close as two siblings could get, wait, probably as close as two friends could get. He always knew what to say to make her feel better or smile whereas I... Suck. Every time I try to make her feel better we're both reminded of Nathan and then she gets even more upset. Now I'm not saying Jess is a wimp, she used to be as tough as old boots, nothing phased her but when Nathan left she just kind of... Broke. As bad as it sounds and as much as I hate seeing her this way, I'm quite glad I have someone to look after to distract myself. 

"Why didn't he call or anything?" She sobbed

"I don't know hun. He's probably really busy, I heard the band he's in is doing really well." I said, squeezing her hand comfortingly

"Yes! Which we heard from some random interview!"

"I know it's hard but maybe it's best that you move on..." 

"Move on! Move on? My brother just left out of the blue and you expect me to move on?! It's not like you've moved on either, have you?" No. Not in the slightest. I've tried, believe me, but it's hard. I feel like such a loser for not moving on because Nathan obviously feels nothing for us anymore. 

"At least I'm trying. He's moved on and we both need to accept that and try our best to... Forget about him." Do you know when it is so hard to say something that it physically feels like you're being strangled? I can't forget about my best friend, it's not possible, if I was going to I would have by now. 

"No. No. No. Never. I will not forget about my brother." She said angrily before stomping downstairs and out of the house. 

I walked into the hallway, a tear rolling down my cheek and faced my door. I craned my neck to the right and looked at Nathan's door. I turned and stood in front of it, brushing my fingertips against the door knob. No. I can't. It'll hurt too much. It's wrong. Just do it. What harm will it cause? It's not exactly like he's here. He'll never find out. They'll never find out. NO. It's wrong. Just do it already! It's fine. He'd want you to do it. Would he? Yes. No he wouldn't. Yes he would. No he wouldn't. Yes he would. As my mind battled between the conflicting emotions and thoughts, I subconsciously twisted the knob and opened the door. I ran my fingers along the wallpaper and a small pile of dust collected on my finger tips. I looked around the room and saw it looked a lot tidier than it used to. His wardrobe was empty apart from one singular box tucked in the corner, the draws were empty, the posters on his wall were gone... It felt so blank, so un-Nathanlike. I'm sure Karen has come in at some point and that's why it became a no go zone... Because it really hits home that he is gone... It's like his life has just been erased... I pull out the box in the corner and sit on the bed with it in front of me. Inside it was a £20 note and a scrunched up piece of paper. I unfolded it carefully, my hands were shaking. Don't be stupid, I thought, it could be a receipt for all you know. I looked down and all I could see was Nathan's handwriting sticking out at me, a sob erupted from my chest as I began to read