Our perfect rainstorms

The 10th of April, 2016

I walked along the beach at Vuosaari, moving towards a big rock that led out into the sea a bit. The sun was setting, and the beach was almost deserted.

I texted Charlie:

Me: Heya
Me: How are you?

Charlie: im ok
Charlie: im overthinking some thigs

Me: What things?

Charlie: like my future
Charlie: like what am i gonna do for a living
Charlie: and where am i gonna live
Charlie: and shit like that

Me: Oh, well you still have a while to think about that

Charlie: just a few years

Me: You can get to know what kind of job you could have through work experience

Charlie: i havent got the time for a job

Me: Don't they make you do work experience at school?

Charlie: no
Charlie: do they do that in finland

Me: Yeah, I'm at my work experience right now

Charlie: so you get time off school to do a job

Me: Yes
Me: They are teaching me how to adult

Charlie: they got shit figured out

Me: They do, yeah

Charlie: but idk where to live
Charlie: like
Charlie: i dont wanna live somewhere where my dad is close
Charlie: i dont wanna live in america either
Charlie: i wanna live in finland
Charlie: its so much better

Me: You deffo should live in Finland

Charlie: we could live together

Me: Yesssss :D

Charlie: just gotta wait a few more years
Charlie: because school

Me: Or you could do a student exchange program thing

Charlie: my dad wont let me

Me: What? D:

Charlie: my dad wont let me do things that make me happy :(
Charlie: its like his life goal is for me to be depressed to the point i cut myself but am still alive
Charlie: if it is, he succeeded

Me: Aw babe I'm so sorry *cuddles*
Me: You haven't cut yourself lately though, right?

Charlie: nah im still clean
Charlie: *cuddles back*

Me: Good *kisses your forehead*

Charlie: ^-^
Charlie: why are you so nice to me

Me: Because I'm a nice person
Me: Well, I try to be
Me: Though I'm very unsuccessful in that

Charlie: no youre the nicest bean
Charlie: but whyd you be nice to me
Charlie: im just kinda
Charlie: meh
Charlie: just like a depressed ball thats exhausting to be around

Me: I don't think you're exhausting
Me: And I know you have a lot of problems so I'll do my best to be here for you and make you happy
Me: Okay?

Charlie: I love you

Me: I love you too
Me: Hold up there's another sunset I wanna take photos

I put my phone back in my pocket and pulled out my camera and started taking photos of the sunset. It was bright red and yellow on the horizon behind the trees on the islands in the middle of the sea, darkening the blue of the sky above it. I felt alone, but completely safe as the water lapped against the rock I sat on.

Charlie: sunsets are beautiful in finland
Charlie: i pretty much never see good sunsets here in america

Me: I'll post the pics on Tumblr so you can see them

Charlie: yay ^-^

I put my camera back in its bag and stood up to leave the beach and go back home. I reached the metro station and was getting my ticket when I saw Emilia standing at the top of the escalators. She was looking at her phone, and stepped down onto the escalators and let it take her down. I followed her, but didn't find her on the platform. I got into the metro.

I decided to text her.

Me: I think I saw you at Vuosaari metro station
Me: Sorry that made me sound like a creep
Me: I wanted to go up to you and say sorry but I couldn't find you

Emilia: Yeah I'm waiting for a friend Emilia: We're going to a party

Me: Oh cool Me: I'll leave you to it

Emilia: Ye
Emilia: Wait I think we're in the same carriage

Me: Oh shit, really?

I looked up and saw two girls, one of which was Emilia, on their phones.

Me: Yeah I see you too

Emilia: So you gonna come up and say sorry?

I looked up again. The metro was filled with passengers already, and its doors closed and it started moving.

Me: I can't
Me: Too many people watching
Me: And you're with your friend

Emilia: That's fine

Me: You sure?

She got off at the next station and didn't text me back that night.