He's Kinda Hot// Calum Hood

Chapter 30

8 days.

that's how long it's been since I last saw him. That's how long it's been since I last got out of bed. That's how long it's been since I've talked to anyone.

Ashton comes over every day and forces me to eat. Bailey tried to talk to me about what happened. Luke and Michael have visited a couple of times but nothing helps. My dad tried to get me out of bed the other day but I fell limp in his arms like a rag doll.

I shouldn't have left. If I wouldn't have left we would've been fine we could've fixed this, I could've fixed this.

"Megan this is bullshit. I know you're hurt but I need you to get out of bed and do something. Everyone else around you is getting hurt watching you destroy yourself mentally, it's not good for any of us" Ashton said sitting next to me on my bed. "Wanna know how he's doing?Cause I can promise you he's not doing much better."

"I shouldn't have left" I whispered, tears filling my eyes again.

"You did what you thought was best in the moment, it may not have been the best option now, but at the time it was." I turned over to face him. He picked me and laid me down in his arms as I cried for the first time since he left.

"If I wasn't so scared I would've said yes. I told him that. I told him what happened and still, he walked out without a second glance at me. God why me? Why did I have to be stuck in this position?"

"The worst things happen to the best people. I promise you, it will get better. You should go see him. I can take you if you'd like." He said rubbing my back.

"He doesn't want to see me, he made that clear when he left."

"Did he say 'I don't want to see you' or did he just leave?"

"He just left but I know he doesn't want to see me. He hates me. I made him look like a fool by saying no to his proposal, I mean who wouldn't hate someone who did that?" I said laughing at my own insanity. If I kept this up if be in a mental institution.

"He loved you enough to propose to you, who says he doesn't love you enough to get back with you?"

"Think about what you just said. He loved me. Past tense." I cried. I loved this boy more than my own life and now that he was gone what is the point.

"I didn't mean it like that megan and you know that. I'm taking you to see him or he's going to come here but you are not going to lay in this bed and feel sorry for yourself. So you can decide, is he coming here or are you going there?" I had to think about it. If I said he had to come here I knew he wouldn't and then I wouldn't have to see him, but i do want to see him, more than anything. I still love him no matter how much I try to deny the fact.

"I'll go there" I whispered.

"Really?!? Okay let's get you a shower and dressed and then we can go okay?" He said lifting me up.

"Okay. Thank you Ash. I love you so much." I hugged him as tight as I could and he did the same back.

I managed to take a shower on my own. Ashton sat outside the door to make sure I was okay.

I got out and Ashton walked with me to my room. I pulled on a sweatshirt and some leggings before brushing my hair into a ponytail. Ashton put my shoes on for me before walking me down the stairs to the door. He stopped in the kitchen to tell bailey. She looked at me before walking over and giving me a hug.

"Good luck" she whispered before kissing Ashton and walking back into the kitchen to continue whatever it was she was doing.

"You ready?" He asked opening the door for me.

"Yeah I guess as ready as I'll ever be." I said wiping the tears off of my cheeks. I had started crying and couldn't stop. We made it too his door sooner then I wanted. He rang the doorbell and Mali opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" She asked crossing her arms. So she knew, and she was obviously very mad.

"I came to talk to him" I said sniffling.

"You have nothing to say to him. You broke his heart, he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, but obviously you lied to him when you said you felt the same!" She yelled about to close the door.

"Wait Mali, can I explain to you why I said no first. If you still think I shouldn't talk to him I'll leave but please, let me explain" I begged. She looked between me and Ashton.

"Fine" she opened the door letting us in. We all sat at the kitchen table. I explained to her the same I had to Ashton and to Calum. She stared at me, arms crossed with a blank stare. When I had finally finished she stared at me for another second before standing.

"I swear to you I love him more than my own life, please just let me talk to him. I want to fix this." She walked towards me before standing me up and hugging me.

"Please go talk to him. He's been a wreck without you. I don't like what you did to him, but I understand your reasoning. Please just, make him my brother again, not the person he's become." She released me to walk up the stairs. I stopped at the bottom and looked at them, they were both smiling, encouraging me to go on. I turned around walking up the steps as slow as I possibly could. I got outside his room, but I couldn't open the door. It felt like all of my muscles were frozen in place. The only sound from inside was faint crying.

"Why God? What did I do to deserve this?" His faint whisper was heard through the silent house. I had to do it. I needed him, and I hoped he still needed me. I knocked on the door fairly lightly.

"Go away, I don't want to talk Mali." He said. I opened the door anyway before walking in. He was facing the window to my room, his back to me.

"Mali I told you I-" his throat caught on his words as he turned his body to face mine. Our eyes locked as he sat there, mouth agape, staring at me.

"It's not Mali" I whispered. I started to second guess myself looking down and regretting coming here in the first place. It's obvious he didn't want me here I shouldn't have come.

"This was a bad idea, you obviously don't want me here I'm just gonna.... Yeah" I turned around to walk towards the door, but the next thing he said stopped me in my tracks.

"Don't leave me, not again."