What have I done?
I just ran from the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I ran as far as my legs would take me, which ended up being to a life guard tower far enough from my house so I couldnt see the lights from the teepee anymore. I sat on the edge, my feet hanging over the edge, contemplating my life choices.
I had two options: I could go back to Calum and tell him I made a dumb decision in the moment, but was that really the case? I said what I did without thinking so it must be what I actually feel. My other option was to continue running from my problems, which I've noticed i'm pretty good at. I'm at this point where i feel like i'm stuck in between a nightmare and lost dream. I felt the tears streaming down my face, thinking about how awful of a person i was to him. There is no way i could show my face to him again.
"Megan?" I heard yelling from down the beach. I tried to hide, but whoever it was obviously saw me.
"Megan, why are you down here? What in the hell happened?" it was Bailey.
"I'm such a fucking idiot" I said hiding my face in my hands. It was pitch black out but she knew I was crying.
"Why are you an idiot? What happened? Ash and I got home and Cal-"
"Don't say his name- please don't say his name."
" okay well he was laying in the sand curled up in a ball. We tried to get him up but he said there was no point and just laid there. When we asked where you were he just cried harder and pointed this way. I was hoping id be able to find you, and i'm glad i did. Your dad would've killed me" she laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood, but she realized I wasn't having it when I just sat there like a rock.
"Look Ash told me what Cal was planning. Why did you freak out and run?" she asked sitting against the room at the top of the tower.
"If i'm being 100% honest I have no idea. He asked me and I said 'I cant' before running this way. I guess you guys should've been more worried about me breaking his heart" I laughed at the irony.
"What do you mean you cant? Your dad gave you permission and so did my mom and me and Ash. Whats there to stop you?"
"I just turned 18. Most people wait until they're 20 before even thinking about getting married. I feel like I was scared of the thought of being held down- no that's not- I don't know if spending the rest of my life with him, right now, is something i want to do." I said keeping my eyes on the breaking waves, pulling my sweater sleeves past my hands.
"Okay so you are 18 but did you think that you would get married to Calum at some point in your life?"
"Yes" no hesitation was present.
"Then what is stopping you from doing it now? You guys have been a couple for longer than I have been in the picture, and its so obvious to everyone that you guys are meant to be together, so whats stopping you."
"I don't know" my voice monotone, never veering my eyes from the ocean.
"So go! Tell him you want to be with him! don't leave him alone if you are supposed to be with him" she yelled at me.
"I'm going with Madison back to America" i said without a second thought I got up and walked towards my house.
"What do you mean you're going back to America? Your family and friends are here- Your whole life is here!"
"I just need to get away okay? Whether that be for a week or a year! I just need a break!" I yelled at her running inside my house past Calum and Ashton on the couch. I packed a bag for at least a week, if anything i can buy more clothes while i'm there. I grabbed my purse and shoved it in my backpack with my laptop and all of my chargers. I ran out to the bathroom to grab my brush and my makeup. Before i could get out Ashton stood in the way.
"Ashton get out of my way" I said trying to push past him.
"No Megan! What the hell do you think you're doing? You cant just up and leave!" I pushed past him and into my room.
"Yes I can and I will. It wont be forever, just think of it as a vacation. I just don't know how long Ill be gone." I said zipping up the rest of my bags.
"If you leave I will never forgive you" he said making me stop in my tracks. "If you leave, there is no way i will ever forgive you."
"Ashton I need to. I need to get away for a little. Please just promise me you will keep an eye on Calum." I said hugging him.
"Megan you cant leave, I need you. You're the only person who can always put a smile on my face. Please your my best friend, I cant loose you" he said squeezing me as if it was his last chance to hold me.
"I promise you I will be back. Ill text you every day, I will tell you where I am, please just let me do this." I whispered.
"God you're doing the same fucking thing Kaitlyn did! One bad thing happens and you flee the fucking country! I'm not loosing you Megan, What don't you understand about that?" he yelled, His normally giggly smile replaced with tears.
"Don't you dare compare me to her! We are nothing alike! This is not the same damn thing!"
"Yes it is! You broke his heart- shattered his heart, and instead of staying here and explaining to him why the hell you denied his marriage proposal, you are flying halfway across the fucking world!"
"You want to know why I said no?" I said just above a whisper, tears streaming down my face.
"Please enlighten me!" he continued yelling.
"Because I don't want my future child going through the same damn thing I did because I thought that this boy would never leave me- because i thought that we were just fine and he loved me to much to leave. I don't want to end up like my damn mom okay? I'm fucking scared, that why I said no!" I yelled all in one breath before completely breaking down, falling to the floor. Ashton was quick to my side holding and rocking me in an attempt to get me to calm down.
"Shhh im so sorry Meg, I had no idea. You never talk about your mom." he said holding me tight.
"Yeah I don't talk about her really. The divorce was awful for all of us. My mom would get drunk and my dad would stay in bed all of the time, until I could finally make the choice with who I wanted to live with. I chose my dad. I didn't want to leave the country, i didn't want to leave my brother with her, but we had no choice. I'm so afraid of commitment because of her." I said crying more thinking of my brother.
"I didn't know you had a brother."
"I don't like talking about him, it just makes me think of how horrible of a person i was to leave him behind" I said slowly falling asleep to the sound of Ashtons heartbeat.
"How old is he?"
"He turned 15 just a month ago. Thats the first birthday ever of his that I have missed. I didnt even call him, I sent him a damn text. God im so pathetic." I said slowly crying myself to sleep.
"Just promise me one thing" Ashton said.
"anything"
"If I let you go to America, promise me you will go see your brother, and promise me you will come back before my birthday." he said leaning against the wall.
"I promise. And promise me you will keep an eye on Calum. I still love him and I always will, I just don't want him to move on before I get back unless hes 100% happy with her."
"Okay, go to sleep. We can get you a plane ticket in the morning" he said kissing the top of my head.
"okay. I love you Ash."
"I love you too Meg." That was the last thing I heard before I was pulled into the darkness known as sleep.
YOU ARE READING
He's Kinda Hot// Calum Hood
Fanfic"You know when I first saw you, all I could think was 'wow, he's kinda hot'" "Well when I first saw you all I thought was damn this girl is my new neighbor? She's hot as hell" he laughed as I smacked his chest. "Okay okay shut up before I leave" "No...
