The Girl Next Door > jariana (COMPLETED)

twenty-two

Rachel

Justin's voice echoed in my head – "I'm sorry Rachel, I know it's a clichéd thing to say, but I never meant to hurt you..." - What the fuck? My mind spun out of control. This couldn't be the end. I replayed every moment from the first time I saw Ariana all the way to my epic win at the swimming pool. I wouldn't let Justin slip away that easily. This was just a blip, a speed bump in our relationship.

I couldn't allow myself to believe after all that's gone on these last two years and all the time spent together he would just throw it all away for some child. He would see soon enough, right? He'd have to. I wouldn't be there helping him at the shows, cheering him on, supporting him. I wouldn't be there to work the merchandise table, or to make sure the shows got promoted. I wouldn't be there to get him whatever the fuck he wanted; beer, water, gum, earplugs or anything else. I started to hyperventilate and sank deeper into the passenger seat of Sienna's car.

"As soon as I saw her lying on his bed that day...''

"Shit Rachel, I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know what to say." Sienna replied.

Of course, what could she say? The whole thing was just fucked.

"You could offer to take her out for me, or run her off the road, kick her ass or better yet, poison her?" I mumbled, through my tears.

"Rachel, as if...the best thing for you to do is act like it's no big deal, right? But then again maybe you're right, if you're not around to help him anymore, then he'll realize."

I kept replaying in my mind the way Justin stood close to her, torturing myself. I just knew he was into her.

"Sienna, what am I gonna do?"

"Rachel, there isn't anything you can do. One thing I'll tell you not to do is be lame and vindictive, that will only piss Justin off," she advised. "Just act like it's no big deal. You can't help what's going on anyway. You of all people know how it is. He's leaving on the road again and I hate to say it, but he'll probably be hooking up with chicks all along the way."

"So, you're telling me that's what Dump does, and you're okay with it?" I replied dryly. "Besides, we're supposed to go with them this time."

"Don't be a bitch. What I do know is, whenever Dump's on the road he's calling me and texting me all the time, so what the fuck ever, Rachel." She bit back, "Don't be a bitch to me just because your shit isn't working out. Dump and I've been together for a long time. Now if he was drinking and using, then I wouldn't be surprised if that shit was goin' down. But right now I believe he's being faithful."

"Whatever," I hissed under my breath. I didn't want to hear how perfect her relationship was with Dump. They made me puke with their little happy house shit. "If I didn't tell the whole world about this party next weekend I'd not have one."

"You're so full of shit Rachel. Who cares if you're seeing him or not."

"Sienna, I'm in love with him," I eeked out. The tears welled up in my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

By this time we were parked in front of Dump's apartment. I stared at Sienna through my tears and apologized. "I'm sorry for being a bitch, but you have no idea what I'm going through right now, or what I'm feeling."

Sienna reached out rubbing my arm. "Rach, look, I feel so bad for you and I know you want to hear that it's all gonna be okay with Justin. But I don't know. You've always just done what you do no matter what I say. You ask for advice and you do the opposite. You live by your own set of rules. I just feel like no matter what I say to you, nothing ever matters."