The Girl Next Door > jariana (COMPLETED)

fifty-two

Justin

Rolling, rolling , rolling. Time doesn't care what time it is.

I wasn't ready to wake up. My head was as thick as a brick. The stink of cigarettes mixed with Victoria's musky perfume tickled at my senses, and not in a good way. I rolled over moving away from the foul aroma that made my stomach turn. These European's I'd been hanging with were the smokiest bunch of people I'd ever met. I thought the Midwest of the US was bad, nope. These people smoked like their lives depended on it, like it wouldn't send them to an early grave.

I stared over the mess that took over my rented flat. Victoria's shopping bags, shoes and clothes were strewn everywhere. I wondered how her place looked and if it smelled of smoke as mine did, however faint it was, I hated it. I didn't think her smoking would bother me but it did. It crept into every fiber and stuck to my skin like sticky invisible tar. It clung to Victoria's hair too. Since I'd met her, she'd never had clean smelling hair, ever, it was always smoke tinged and now it was gross to me.

I couldn't take the mess anymore or the smell of Victoria and her cigarettes. I had to pull my shit together and figure out how to get rid of Victoria. Let's face it she'd been a quick fix to fill the void and now I'm not so sure the void could ever be filled. There always seemed to be something askew, gnawing at the edges. What time was it anyway? I wondered. It had been dawn when we arrived home, finally. I reached for my Levi's and dragged myself out of bed.

I'd met Victoria Wellington half way through our first twelve city European tour. We'd been together nearly every day since, for nearly two months. Or was it longer? Whatever it was I'd had enough. Victoria was a friend of a friend of the headlining band. I spotted her leaning against the wall, smoking, near the backstage entrance as we were loading in. Her long hair and bare back caught my attention and from behind I swore it could have been Ariana, as a blonde.

Victoria's bare back was facing me once again, her golden blonde hair splayed out across the pillow. It could have been Ariana lying there, too. To the eye they were so similar in body type, but to the touch Victoria was way softer. She didn't workout like Ariana. I missed Ariana's firmness. I missed her clean, sweet smell. I missed Ariana's everything.

It'd been months since I'd obsessed about her. In fact, meeting Victoria was exciting. We connected instantly and it was fun for a while, she took my mind off of Ariana, almost completely. Now here I was again, in that place I wanted so bad to vacate, my own Hotel California. ''You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.'' - The Eagles. I should tattoo those lyrics on me somewhere. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I wanted to get back to New York. To get back into the studio and to the girl I'd been seeing there, Sophia. That would help right? I really liked Sophia. She was nothing like Ariana at all. We'd only gone on a few dates before I had to leave. We exchanged a few emails, all playful and never serious. That's what I needed. Nothing serious and Victoria mentioned one night she wanted to move to New York to try something new. Ugh. Really? I guess that's what those trust fund Euro's do. They just float where the wind took them. I was no longer gonna fill her sails.

"Now you know you could have someone else doing that for you."

Victoria's smooth raspy voice startled me and I tripped over her red stilettoes. I knew those things could kill someone. Her accent reminded me of Notting. That's right, another reminder of home, I needed to return his call.

"Hey. Yeah well, considering I can't stand looking at all this shit anymore."

"I'll call someone right over..."

"No," I interrupted, "No, really, please, Victoria. Thank you. It's fine. I have a washer and dryer right down the hall. Um, it would help if you could gather your stuff up too."