CALUM IS BACK AND IVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE IM SUCH A CALUM GIRL ITS DISGUSTING
also we're back with cat :)))
"Kitten?"
I stay laying on my side, keeping my eyes trained on the door as it opens slightly.
Calum's head peaks in before he sees me and sighs, "Kitten, it's been a week and a half, why won't you get out of bed?"
I don't answer. I just continue to lay there and stare off blankly at him.
He stands there and looks at me for a few seconds before closing the door and taking off his shoes, walking over towards my bed.
He lifts up my covers, crawling in next to me and facing me.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" He asks, his brown eyes examining my face, before looking back into mine.
"I-" I gulp before licking my lips and continuing, "I can't close my eyes without seeing him."
His bushy eyebrows furrow, so I continue, "Whenever I close my eyes, I see his eyes. Sometimes it happens all over again. I watch the poor people being..." I trail off, before breathing in, "Sometimes I picture that I'm the one being shot. But th-the worst is when I dream that it's not me, or any of the people that's in there. I dream that it's Grace, or Ashton," I feel my eyes watering, "Or you."
He sniffs, before clearing his throat. My eyes train to his long eyelashes as he blinks.
"You know," he says quietly, "I have those too."
I stay quiet, looking at his hair that is just starting to grow in, before examining his bushy eyebrows.
"I get bad dreams. Really really bad dreams," he says quietly, "I don't really talk about them, but they're there, and they really suck."
He grabs my hand under the blanket, "I know what it's like," he squeezes my hand, "The night that of the shooting, I had a really bad one. It was like Iraq was in the mall, and I was on the outside and could see everything. And I saw you. You were on the inside, with sand flying around you and I couldn't move. My feet were like, glued to the floor."
He swallows before he shifts a little, "No matter how much I screamed for you or tried to get to you, I couldn't. I woke up screaming and sweating, and when I realized that you were at the hospital in the state you were in, it felt like I didn't even wake up from it," he says, "I know how it feels."
"How do you get through it?" I ask quietly, my voice cracking slightly.
"I'm a sarcastic asshole who likes sex," he smirks, "I distract myself."
I stay silent, looking down at our hands just peaking out from under the blankets.
"You should let Ashton in," he says, and I look up at him in surprise, "He never left the hospital. He almost cancelled his trip to LA and almost got kicked off the team because he didn't want to leave."
"I don't think I-" I shake my head, but he interrupts me.
"I'm not saying to date him again," he says, "But you're going to need someone other than Grace. He can be there for you."
"What about you?" I ask immediately, "I have you, you're my best friend."
He stays silent and I feel my heart fall far down into my stomach.
"Calum," I warn, "I have you."
"Kitten," he sighs, looking into my eyes.
"No," I shake my head, "No, no-you-no."
"I'm so sorry," he says, his eyes getting glassy as I start to shake my head even more, tears falling out of my eyes.
"You're going back?" I ask, and he looks down.
"You have to say it," I say, trying not to let out the sob that's stuck in my throat, "You have to say it or else I'm going to think I'm making it up because I have PTSD and my judgement isn't clear right now."
"I'm going back," he says, "I leave in three weeks."
"Damnit," I say quietly, more tears falling from my eyes before the sob that was stuck in my throat comes out, "Oh damnit."
He quickly scoots over to me and brings my into his chest, his hand holding onto the back of my head.
"Shh, Kitten," he tries to soothe me as I wrap my arm around his shoulder, gripping onto him as I sob in his neck.
"You can't leave me," I sob, "Fucking hell, Calum, you can't leave again."
"I'm sorry," he says quietly, his hold on me so incredibly tight, "I'm so sorry, Kitten."
*
"You shouldn't be here," I hear Graces voice faintly from downstairs, considering my door is slightly open.
I stay in my bed, Calum's grip on me tightening on me as he sleeps.
"Why can't I just talk to her?" I hear Ashton's voice, and I close my eyes taking a deep breath.
"Because she needs some time," I hear, "Calum is up there with her-"
"Calum is here?" I hear, and I roll my eyes, "So he can talk to her, but I can't? I'm going up there."
"No!" I hear her protest, and I can imagine her stepping in front of him, "He just told her he's going back. They're best friends, Ashton, let them be for now."
"I'm not loosing her again," I hear him, and my heart flutters slightly, "Grace, I lost her once. I let her go way to easily and I'm not doing that again. I'm not going to go away."
"Fine," I hear her say, "I don't want you guys to end it, believe me, I want you guys together probably more than you do. But I'm asking you to not do this today. Come back tomorrow, next week, I don't care. Just not today."
It stays silent for a few moments and I can basically hear my heart beating through my ears.
"Okay," he says, "But this isn't over. I'm not leaving her, even if she left me."
I roll over, breaking apart from Calum and close my eyes, trying to drift to sleep.
CALUM AND CAT ARE NOT TOGETHER THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS AND I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP OK I LOVE CALUM
HOOD HOODBBYE
OMF THAY WAS A TYPO BUT IM KEEPING IT HAHA BYE
